Crisis reveals relationship problems

Dear Abby: I’ve been dating “Karl” for five years. We live separately. I thought our relationship was pretty solid until a recent health scare. A few days ago, I had a severe allergic reaction to something I ate. When I realized how serious it was, I rushed to the ER. (I had taken an antihistamine instead of calling the paramedics.)

I quickly messaged Karl that I was having a medical emergency. The doctor said these reactions can be fatal and will become increasingly worse after each reaction. Karl said he couldn’t leave work. He didn’t make sure I got home safely or even come to the house later to check on me. When I asked him for help picking up the many meds I needed the next morning, he again said he was working. I was furious. Am I overreacting? — Disappointed in Oregon

Dear Disappointed: You were fortunate to have made it to the emergency room, because you could have died on the way. Karl’s reaction was incredibly callous. Please think carefully about a future with this person because he isn’t going to change.

Dear Abby: I was called a “chatterbox” as a kid, and it continued until my mid-30s. Somewhere I came across the saying that it’s better to be silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Now I’m close to retirement, and people complain I don’t talk enough! I detest social gatherings where I must make polite conversation with people I don’t know. And with people I do know, I’m afraid of saying too much. Any recommendations? — Former Chatterbox in Pennsylvania

Dear Former Chatterbox: Conversation is supposed to be an exchange of information. If you find yourself dominating a conversation, pause, ask questions and listen to the answers.

Dear Abby: I am engaged to a wonderful man I’ll call Jesse who loves my daughter and me. But one of my brothers doesn’t seem happy for me. Because of this, Jesse doesn’t want to invite him to our wedding, but I’m worried about how excluding him will affect my family. — Melancholy in Montana

Dear Melancholy: You and Jesse need to discuss this further. I don’t know what your brother’s reservations are, but unless his presence would be disruptive, he should not be excluded. If you do what Jesse has in mind, it will cause a rift that could last for decades. Invite your brother, and leave it up to him whether he attends.