Las Vegas Review-Journal (Sunday)
Photos are at risk after in-law’s death
Dear Abby: My husband’s sister passed away in 2013. Her husband, “Roger,” joined her in heaven three months ago.
There are pictures in their house of my husband’s family (parents, grandparents) that he would like to have and that are of no interest to Roger’s family since they never knew those relatives.
I contacted Roger’s granddaughter asking about the pictures and told her we are not interested in anything but the pictures. The granddaughter got angry and said that “everybody is already wanting all Roger’s things.” Then she blocked me.
Was I wrong? What is usually the etiquette in such matters? — Missing Family Photos
Dear Missing: You did nothing wrong. Emotions can run high when there is a death in the family, and frankly, the granddaughter may have overreacted.
You stated that you “contacted” her. Was it online? I ask because sensitive questions like this are best dealt with directly — in person or by phone. You may be able to contact surviving relatives by reaching out to the mortuary that handled the funeral, or to the church Roger and his wife may have belonged to.
Dear Abby: My grandchildren work as restaurant servers. When I took them to lunch the other day, they said if I was going to pay by credit card, I should leave the tip for the server in cash.
They then explained that when a tip is left on the card, the server doesn’t get it immediately because the restaurant waits until it clears and then they get paid. Generally, the business does it only once or twice a month. Also, on the receipt, you check off 15 percent, 18 percent or 20 percent of the bill. There’s no way for the server to keep track of the amount of each individual check. They don’t know if they are getting all of what’s coming to them or if the owner is pocketing some of the money.
Servers are only just now getting back to work, so I tip a little more generously than I used to. I want to make sure they get their money now. — Cash Is Better
Dear Cash: I agree that cash on the barrel is probably the best way to ensure the server gets every bit of what’s intended. That employers would help themselves to money intended for an employee is shameful.
My late husband worked as a parking attendant in his youth, and he told me his employer actually had the pockets of their uniforms sewn shut and confiscated their tips. It’s why he always asked parking attendants if they were allowed to keep the tips. A word to the wise.