Finding right loving signature is tricky
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m looking for the right thing to say in signing a card to a man I love; however, I don’t want to write the word “love.”
I’ve come up with “your loving friend,” but I need some other ways to express admiration without sending “I love you” or “With admiration and love …”
I don’t want to push him away, but would love to express myself lovingly without actually saying it. What would you say?
GENTLE READER: It doesn’t have to. It’s love. Hesitant love, but love. But Miss Manners supposes that the gentleman might try to make sense of it, in which case “Your loving friend” might be interpreted as the current, rather chilling use of “friend” in a possibly romantic situation, meaning, “I’d rather just be friends.” How about “Affectionately yours” or “Fondly yours”?
DEAR MISS MANNERS:
Afriend of mine whom I have grown distant from has invited me and three other friends to a membersonly club for a dinner next month. I would feel very out of place at this type of establishment and have no interest in going. How do I back out graciously?
GENTLE READER: A bit snobbish, are we? That lady has invited her old friends to come along. It is you who feel that where you eat is more important than with whom.
You can merely thank her and decline the invitation on the grounds that you find you cannot make that date after all, no specific reason necessary. Unless the club has a policy of discrimination justifying a boycott, this strikes Miss Manners as snobbish. DEAR MISS MANNERS: I like to host dinner parties, and before I plan the menu, I always ask guests if there are any foods they cannot eat.
However, now my partner has started to ask our guests for their suggestions as to what we should cook.
I always thought it was up to the host to decide what foods to cook and what wines to provide. I am very uncomfortable with suggestions from guests.
GENTLE READER: Your partner is abdicating the position of host to become an unpaid restaurateur. Miss Manners understands that it is now necessary to inquire if prospective guests have any food restrictions. And she suspects that this could easily drive a cook crazy.
But even letting them place orders will not solve the problem. Wish your partner luck in getting all the guests to agree. Submit your etiquette questions to Miss Manners at dearmissmanners@gmail.com.