Here’s why the sign reads that you have to be naked
Iabsolutely love going to car shows. Many of my hosting duties take me to shows all over the country, where I sign autographs and meet great people and see a lot of cool rides. No matter where you go, you’ll either see something — or meet someone — new and interesting.
And no matter where you go, the sign in the window of the cars reads the same: “Please don’t touch this car unless you are … naked.”
Since there are few naked people at car shows, you would think that the vehicles are left pretty much untouched. But there’s always someone who thinks they know better (“surely they don’t mean me …”) or someone who just doesn’t realize they happen to be leaning against a $100,000 car with a $20,000 paint job, grinding their wallet chain up and down the front fender and door.
Does anyone really wonder why there’s a sign in the window that reads, “Please don’t touch this car unless you are naked?”
As the cost to properly and entirely restore a vehicle — depending on condition and how difficult it is to source replacement parts — can easily top $50,000, owners are much more skittish about bringing their cars out. Can you blame them?
But a car show is just as much an educational experience as it is a beauty pageant. It’s important for youngsters, especially, to learn and know this part of their history since it’s not taught in school. For every kid who runs up and slaps the door of that $100,000 car with two ice-creamcovered hands, there’s another staring inside with wide eyes and hands in their back pockets as the parents explain what the vehicle is.
Often, it’s something like, “This is what grandpa used to drive.”
“Realllly? Grandpa drove this car?” the youngster will look up and ask in earnest.
It gives old cars meaning and purpose aside from just looking great in the bright sunshine. It’s about learning, remembering, respecting and sharing information.
Car shows are really cultural experiences and the owners who dare exhibit their prized possessions are answering a lot more questions. Owners of old cars aren’t just owners. Their experiences and knowledge are vital to the education process. They’re expected to be historians and they need to strive to make car-show experiences fun and memorable for youngsters, and not in a bad way.
In exchange for this privilege, we have a few responsibilities as showgoers: to make the experience a memorable one for the owners and not because we banged a stroller into the side of a $500,000 1970 Plymouth Hemicuda convertible.
Most shows that charge an admission are not going to allow spectators on bicycles, skateboards or roller blades. The risk of damage is just too great. At some high-end shows, even strollers won’t be allowed in and you had better keep that camera that’s dangling around your neck in close proximity while you lean your head in the window of a milliondollar car designed by my friend Chip Foose.
And don’t get angry if you’re asked to leave Fido at home. If he’s used to jumping on or in the family minivan, there’s little to stop him from doing so at a car show, even if he’s on a short leash.
Most importantly, the car owners are not babysitters. It’s not like the mall where some people just let their kids run wild. Those parents will find out the hard way that car show organizers and vehicle owners don’t take that kind of thing lightly.
A rock innocently bounced off a $20,000 paint job is your $20,000 problem. You break it, you buy it. WalMart might let a kid off the hook with a broken glass, but that’s not going to fly in at a car show. People who treat it like a playground are abusing the privilege of seeing all those splendid vehicles in one place.
Look at it this way: The owners have the burden of actually owning their cars, caring for them, paying for them and learning about them. And now’s your chance to see them.
As a showgoer it’s up to you to be courteous and responsible. That’s it. That’s all. It seems like a small price to pay to see millions of dollars worth of historic vehicles in one spot on one sunny day.
Keep this in mind and the signs in the windows might change to read, “This car is my life and an important part of our history, please feel free to ask me all about it … and you don’t have to be naked.” Among her numerous accomplishments, Courtney Hansen is the author of her own book, the former host of Spike TV’s “Power Block,” the former host of TLC’s “Overhaulin’ ” and a writer with Wheelbase Media. You can email her at www.theoctanelounge.com by clicking the contact link.