Relationship status is up to individual

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When do you stop being “divorced” and start being “single”?

GENTLE READER: Divorced people are also, by definition, single, as no remarried lady since Hamlet’s mother invented the paperless divorce has wondered if she was “married” or still “divorced.”

After decades in which people fought to reduce the nosiness of motor vehicle departments, employers and bores, their descendants are only too eager to label themselves with alarming specificity to anyone who will listen. Miss Manners attributes this to social media platforms that began, innocently enough, with the idea that one’s “status” should be as granular as “available,” “busy,” “away,” “at lunch” and so on — when she would have thought that “listening” and “not” covered all relevant possibilities.

Modern sensitivities notwithstanding, Miss Manners is willing to leave the choice between “divorced” and “single” up to the individual, so long as formerly married persons can agree not to use the latter until the former has been legalized.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: The company I work for is privately owned by one family and has a few different companies under the same umbrella, with each company headed by a different member of the family.

The result is that I do not know many of the people who work for the parent company. I have noticed that the human resources lady will send an email to the entire company announcing life events of various members of the family, i.e., births, marriages, etc. I do not always know the person the event pertains to.

What is the correct response, if any, to this type of mass email? Other people respond to the email expressing their best wishes, but I feel it would be insincere to do so myself if I do not know the person.

I also find it kind of rude that only the family members are acknowledged in this way. There have been many other such events in the lives of various employees, which are not given the same consideration. Would like to know your thoughts.

GENTLE READER: If you are confused now as to how to respond to announcements about people you do not know, what is your plan when human resources follows your advice and starts posting everyone’s personal affairs?

The problem is not too little intimacy, but too much. But whatever the feelings of your employers, etiquette does not require any response to mass-mailed announcements about people you do not know.

Submit your etiquette questions to Miss Manners @dearmissmanners@gmail. com.