Friends don’t like woman’s open marriage

DEAR ABBY: I’ve been in an extramarital relationship for 10 years. My husband knows, and so do my close friends.

I love this man dearly, but neither of us wants it to be full-time. I have children at home and don’t want to disrupt anything. We meet once or twice a week. He touches base with me several times a day, and is attentive where my husband never was.

My husband isn’t bitter about the relationship anymore. However, my two closest friends continually say, “Well, why lie to yourself? You know you just say you don’t want things fulltime so you don’t drive him away,” which isn’t true.

I really DON’T want this to be full-time. I enjoy it like I enjoy a good book and a glass of wine — not every day, but an indulgence and a pleasure.

It feels horrible that my two best friends can’t understand that I give of myself to my community and my family and need something that is just for me. I have reached the point where I don’t want to have these discussions with my friends anymore, so I avoid them. How can I get across to them that I’m fine and happy and content? — Just For Me

DEAR JUST: You say you are happy and content, and your husband is OK with the arrangement. Don’t you think it’s time you stopped trying to “sell” the concept of open marriage to your women friends? By now it should be clear that they do not understand. They probably never will. Most people don’t. Let it lie!

DEAR ABBY: I am a firsttime mom of a toddler. I suffer from (and am being treated for) anxiety issues.

Abby, I am having trouble finding the balance on gun safety and awareness in other people’s homes — especially if my daughter will be visiting.

Where do I draw the line?

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.