Bryant’s heave-ho rare but still ho-hum
I Thappened! It happened! I speak not of George Foreman knocking out Michael Moorer to win the heavyweight title at the implausible age of 45 — and Jim Lampley’s iconic call of pugilistic history being made in Las Vegas — but of native son Kris Bryant getting ejected from a ballgame on Tuesday.
Which, if you know anything about Bryant and his kindly nature, was just as implausible.
Now it should be noted the Cubs, the team for which the reigning NL MVP plays, were matched against the crosstown White Sox when it happened.
All sorts of dander gets up when the Cubs play the White Sox. (The last time I fought with my brother is when he insisted Bill Melton was better than Ron Santo. This was when my brother was a fool, and smaller than me.)
In the fifth inning, dander inciter John Lackey filled the bases with White Sox by plunking three of them with his pitches, after which White Sox broadcaster Ken “Hawk” Harrelson challenged Lackey to a fight. If that tells you anything about the kind of game this was.
A half-inning prior, Bryant was ejected by home plate umpire Lance Barksdale for complaining about being called out on an inside pitch that landed somewhere near Joliet.
Bryant, who is such a nice guy that Adidas should name his next pair of cleats the Goody Two Shoes, started barking at Barksdale, but it
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seemed a respectful retort. No veins bulging from the neck or whatever. The umpire struck back by throwing the Bonanza High product out of the ballgame. It happened! “It was a disagreement, but I don’t think it was too animated,” Bryant said. “I know (Barksdale) is trying to do the best job he can. I’m trying to do the best job I can. I feel like I only want to say something when I know for a fact (the call was bad).
“I had to do it. I had to stick up for myself.”
Kris’ dad, Mike Bryant, said in a text that it was the second time his son had been thrown out a professional game. The first was in a Triple-a game for the same reason, the elder Bryant said.
Harper’s histrionics
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John Lackey, who would plunk one additional White Sox batter, giving him four plunks in a single game — the first time a Cubs pitcher had done that since Moe Drabowsky in 1957 — and Hawk Harrelson certainly would agree with sticking up for oneself. So would Bryce Harper,