Fitting-room issue for dad, daughter

DEAR MISS MANNERS:

I am a single father with a beautiful 4-year-old girl. I would like to know what is proper etiquette for taking my daughter shopping for clothes and having her try them on in a fitting room. Last time, I went to the women’s dressing room, but I didn’t know if I should go in. There were moms sitting down waiting for their children to come out. My child still needs a little help.

GENTLE READER: Although the 4-year-olds of Miss Manners’ acquaintance are aware that their classmates come in different flavors, they generally attach less significance to this than the distinction between strawberry and vanilla.

The existence of these children suggests that their parents are more aware of the consequences of gender differentiation. It is therefore the gender of the parent that determines which dressing room to use. If your daughter needs help trying on her dress, the other fathers will accept her presence more readily than the mothers will accept yours. Individual dressing rooms, when available, should cause no surprises.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I have many family members visit throughout the year. Recently, some of our family stayed at our house for a few days. Because they drove, they weren’t sure when they were going to leave, but told us it would be sometime Thursday.

When we were having dinner Wednesday evening, we asked them if they had decided what time they were going to leave. They said they might stay until Friday morning.

When I got up the next morning, they were gone. They had seen my husband in the kitchen at 7 a.m. and didn’t tell him goodbye. When I came out to the kitchen at 8 a.m., all I found was a note saying goodbye and thanks for everything.

When I mentioned this to a friend, she asked if they were upset about something, or if we had argued the night before, but the answer is no. Is this any way to behave?

GENTLE READER: The behavior certainly is odd enough to warrant a follow-up call, inquiring if everyone is all right.

Miss Manners did not suggest asking if everything is all right. Your purposes are to unravel the mystery and , if they were merely thoughtless, gently to point that out.

Asking after their health implies that their behavior requires an explanation while showing concern. Asking about “everything” sounds like an invitation to air grievances against you.

Submit your etiquette questions to Miss Manners at dearmissmanners@gmail. com.