Pregnant wife must reveal infidelity

DEAR ABBY: Iama mother of three and happily married to my kids’ father. I am seven months pregnant with my fourth baby, but this child is not my husband’s. My husband is a loving man and a good father.

My problem is, I don’t know how to tell him I’m not carrying his baby. The man I slept with is always saying he wants to marry me. He has one son with his wife.

I love my kids, and I still love my husband. How can I tell him the truth without tearing my family apart? — Big Mistake

DEAR BIG MISTAKE: Not knowing your husband, I can’t guess at how he will react. I’m sure he won’t be pleased.

Regardless, he must be told, so do it at a time when it’s calm and quiet and you can discuss it without your children running in and out. I am sure he will have many questions — among them, whether you plan to continue a relationship with the child’s father. (Does the man plan to be part of the baby’s life in years to come?)

Because this may have legal ramifications, discuss this with an attorney.

DEAR ABBY: I talked with one of my siblings about having a joint vacation. He suggested all of us get together with our spouses and go on one. We discussed locations and had a family meeting to discuss the possibility. We’re all in our 50s or older, and some of us have health issues.

There has always been a lot of bickering between some of us. I explained to everyone that we can make our requests for locations, activities, etc., but we all need to be willing to give a little. The bickering is continuing, and some unkind things were said.

I just want to plan a fun vacation, but I’m worried the negativity will carry over to the vacation. Our parents died years ago, and one of our siblings has passed away.

I worry that this may be a last chance for all of us to be together. I’m sad to say we get together only a few times a year. Any suggestions? — In Vacation Mode

DEAR VACATION MODE: Taking into consideration the family dynamics, it’s wishful thinking to believe you can control the way your siblings relate.

The reason they see each other so infrequently may have something to do with the fact that some of them are petty, immature and nasty. My suggestion would be to invite only those siblings who can get along with each other.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.