Helping young child deflect questions

DEAR MISS MANNERS:

I have gathered from reading your column that one should not ask personal questions of strangers, nor make comments regarding their appearance.

Howis this rule altered when the approaching person is an adult and the approached is a young child?

My nearly 3-year-old child is approached several times on any given outing, with comments about her clothing and questions about her age, name and favorite color. What we have been doing, so far, is to have me answer the questions ( and thank strangers for their compliments while she remains silent.

I would like to teach her an all-purpose sentence that is polite, but discourages further, unwanted conversation. What I believe she would like to convey is, “I appreciate your interest, but my mother and I would prefer to continue our shopping (or conversation, or walk) undisturbed.” Of course, I know that wording is not correct.

GENTLE READER: If you can get your 3-year-old to recite the sentence you propose, Miss Manners suspects you will have no further problems: You will have plenty of time to make a discreet escape while the now-perplexed questioner wonders at her precocious politeness.

Failing that, let your daughter answer the first question naturally, then politely interrupt and apologize, explaining to child and stranger alike that it is time to go.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the most proper method of apologizing to a company that complained — not to me, or to my team leader, but to the company owner — that I was unprofessionally emotional while trying to finalize a ridiculously challenging deal?

Had they brought their concerns to me, or even just to my team leader, my apology would be sincere, but now it is tainted with resentment. In most cases, I would prefer to do it in person, but in this case would an email be sufficient?

GENTLE READER:

There are many ways to undercut the apology you are delivering. Using a less formal method of communication — email — may be less objectionable than a teenager’s delivering it in a sarcastic tone or an adult’s use of a non-apology.

And given the original offense, Miss Manners would have thought you might wish to plant some doubt with your employer about your propensity to misbehave. A handwritten note will do this more effectively than email.

Submit your etiquette questions to Miss Manners at dearmissmanners@gmail. com.