Starvingatthebuffet?justsaythis

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What should one do when people meet-and-greet at the buffet table, becoming absorbed in conversation and keeping others from getting at the food? I’ve even seen them stand around and graze off the buffet, oblivious to the starving multitudes who can’t get past them.

Short of carrying a sandwich in my pocket, how is this impasse to be handled? It’s usually obvious that the host intended that people would fill plates and take them to another room to eat.

GENTLE READER: In the days before electronic supermarket checkout and online vehicle registration, standing in line was a daily activity. While this was not enjoyable , it did mean that people maintained a sense of proportion about what constituted a national crisis rather than an inconvenience. The behavior you describe is inconsiderate. But it can be addressed with two words: “Excuse me.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS:

Is it a breach of politeness to write “handwritten” cards on my phone?

There’s this mobile app that allows me to use my finger or a stylus to write a personal note, attach some photos, and then the card is printed out and sent from some printing shop. No one who’s received them has complained, but I’m wondering if there’s something I’m missing out on.

GENTLE READER: No doubt some entrepreneur somewhere is working on a site that will allow you to “pen” love letters without knowing anything about the object of your affections, after which they will be printed on heavy stock, dipped in perfume, and airlifted to the recipient’s front door. Unless you are adept at calligraphy, what makes a handwritten note special is not the penmanship, but the appearance of effort. If your app can simulate that , Miss Manners makes no objection, although what you describe sounds more like the preprinted cards one finds in the pharmacy.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She accepted. After a year and a half, she called it quits. She gave the ring back.

Would it be proper to give this ring to someone else when the time comes, and do I tell that someone about this?

GENTLE READER: Unless you can truthfully claim that the ring is a family heirloom, there is no good way to explain what you intend to the new love of your life. And Miss Manners cautions you that not explaining it may prove embarrassing if someone who has seen the ring before recognizes it.

Submit your etiquette questions to Miss Manners at dearmissmanners@gmail. com.