Polite dismissals wasted on robocalls

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Caller ID and other technologies made it possible, for a few years, to screen out telemarketers. But now telemarketers are using false phone numbers, lifelike recordings and intelligent voice recognition to fool people into accepting calls and engaging with callers who may not be human.

What’s our obligation to be polite when a call is deceptive and the caller possibly a robot? May one talk over a caller who never stops to breathe? If the caller is pre-programmed to respond in a way most likely to extend the conversation, is it acceptable to hang up wordlessly?

GENTLE READER: If you have made every effort to politely interrupt, then they only have themselves to blame for the disconnection.

And as faultlessly well-mannered as Miss Manners may be, she does not require you to be polite to a robot.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My mother and I attended the funeral of a dear aunt. After the services, my mother offered to cook my uncle a meal at his home.

Somehow this escalated into the entire family being invited. The next day, she wentoutandpurchaseda 10-pound roast, along with food to make sides.

Upon returning to the house, my cousin’s adult daughter asked how many people it was for. When I listed off the people, she bluntly told my mother that she would still be hungry after dinner.

My uncle, mother and I found this very rude. Are we overreacting?

GENTLE READER: Pre-emptively claiming future hunger — or criticizing anything about a meal that one has been invited to — is clearly rude.

If she insisted that she would be hungry afterwards, you could have politely suggested that she procure more food.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my daughters invited some friends to a sleepover, one mother asked if I would be providing supper. I said that we would be having hamburgers and fries.

One girl immediately her hatred of these foods. Before I thought how to respond, the girl’s mother assured her that I would find something she would like.

This particular child proved to be extremely picky. While I did want to be a gracious hostess, I did not wish to be a short-order cook. What would have been a reasonable response?

GENTLE READER: “Well, I will certainly do my best, and I hope that she will find something she might like.” Miss Manners recommends that this statement be uttered with consistent eye contact with the parent.

Submit your etiquette questions to Miss Manners at dearmissmanners@gmail. com.