Little girl’s boyfriends upsetting mom
DEAR ABBY: I am single and the mother of a 7-yearold girl. When she was 4, I decided there would be no parade of guys coming in and out of my life. I have barely dated, and the few times I have gone out, I never talked about it around her.
Over the last two or three years, she has come home every few weeks or months with a new boy she likes. I never say much except that she’s not allowed to have a boyfriend. She recently swore her grandfather to secrecy and told him she had a boyfriend.
Should I be concerned that she likes a new boy every few weeks, or that she didn’t tell meshehadaboyfriendeven though I don’t punish her for being honest? I’m concerned about her being interested in boys at too young an age. — Possibly Prude Mother
DEAR MOTHER: Having a“boyfriend”attheageof7 means something different thanitdoestoateenageror an adult. When your daughter tried to confide in you, you cut her off by telling her it “wasn’t allowed.” If you had let her confide in you, she wouldn’t have found the needtodoitwithhergrandfather. I suggest you open up the lines of communication before it’s too late.
DEAR ABBY: Taking care of a loved one who has Alzheimer’s is difficult. My boyfriendcameupwitha brilliant idea to help me maintain my own space
(the basement in the family home) and still keep track of my mom upstairs. A baby monitor! I could hear everything going on upstairs, at night especially.
Both of my parents had Alzheimer’s disease, and I wish I had known about the monitor when Dad was still alive. I hope this will help others to be more effective caregivers without compromising their own lives. — Missing Mom and Dad in Montana
DEAR MISSING: Sodoi, because placing a baby monitor in the room of a sick per- son of any age is a good idea. I have heard of this being done with people in hospice programs whose caregivers can’t be with them every minute. Thank you for writing.
DEAR ABBY: I need suggestions on what to do to get a close family member to go outtolunchwithme.ihave offered to pay for lunch, let him pick the restaurant and do the driving. (“Nope. Can’t go. Got to check with my wife. No.”)
I am in my late 80s, and he’s in his late 70s. What do you suggest? — Looking to Lunch in the East
DEAR LOOKING TO LUNCH: Invite his wife to cometolunchwithyou. However, if that doesn’t work, forget about trying to get him to go, because he may be less eager to see you than you are to see him.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.