Abuse clouds girl’s thoughts of future
DEAR ABBY: When I was 6 or 7 and staying at my grandparents’ house, and my grandmother would go outside, my grandfather would try to put his hands on my private parts. He wouldn’t speak a word to me, even if she was around. In fact, I never witnessed him say anything at all. But as soon as Grandma was out of sight, that was his chance to put his hands on me, then laugh when I tried to wiggle away.
Recently, I tried to bring this up with my mom to get her support. She reacted as if there was something really wrong with ME or I was lying!
I don’t want that man around my future children. I know this memory isn’t something I imagined or made up “to embarrass the family.” What should I do in reference to Mom’s response? — Moving On from the Past
DEAR MOVING ON: In reference to your mother’s response, conclude that the same thing likely happened to her. You should also conclude that, if that’s the case, she knew what he was capable of and did nothing. For that reason, your grandfather should not be allowed to be around your children.
Because of the seriousness of what happened to you, it would be a good idea to contact the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network. Its website is rainn.org and the toll-free phone number is 800-656-4673.
DEAR ABBY: My elderly mother lost her husband and will be moving in with me. Mom is one of those people for whom nothing is ever good enough. One of my siblings has informed me Mom told her my house, my neighborhood, my town, our hospitals, etc. are not good enough for her. I’m worried that after she moves in and I hear her complain every day, I’ll lose my temper. Do you have any words of wisdom? — Dreading It in the South
DEAR DREADING: Ask your mother NOW, before she relocates, if what your sibling said is true. And if it is, do NOT let her move in.
DEAR ABBY: Is it rude for someone not to cash a check you have written within a certain time period? Because I keep track of my banking online and not in a traditional checkbook, I end up having to try to remember to adjust my available balance to include the check’s amount. What do you think? — Check’s in the Mail
DEAR C.I.T.M.: I agree that it’s rude. When a canceled check does not show up — sometimes for months — it makes reconciling the giver’s checkbook a pain in the neck and sometimes lower.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.