Brief affair splits family for 17 years

DEAR ABBY: Seventeen years ago, I had a (minor) tryst with my wife’s sister. Months later, it came to light during an unfortunate phone conversation.

Our family has recovered and all is well — except with my wife’s brother-in-law (the husband). He considers me “persona non grata.”

I took my counselor’s advice and sent him a written apology, delivered by my wife. My parents-in-law have forgiven me (as well as their daughter) for the errant behavior, but still a massive wedge remains in our family. My fatherin-law is ailing now and is desperate for reconciliation. I’ve done what I can (I think). What now? What more? — Persona Non Grata in Illinois

DEARP.N.G.: Because your father-in-law is desperate for reconciliation, he is the one who should appeal to your brother-in-law to heal the breach.

DEAR ABBY: In a world so vast and beautiful, do you think one person could somehow see it all? I’ve often dreamed of doing so, but most of the time I sit in front of a computer doing schoolwork. So many days I have wanted to drop out and be a hippie or something, but in these times, there are so many requirements to get to where we want to be.

You know what, Abby? I’ve got a better question for you. Can you invent a time machine so I can go back to the ’50s? Forever wondering … — Gabriella in South Carolina

DEAR GABRIELLA: I wish I could provide one, but if I did, I have a hunch it would become very crowded.

There’s nothing wrong with dreaming about visiting faraway places. Once your studies are completed, you may be in a position to do that. In the meantime, make an effort to block out time to go to a gym, do yoga, meditate. If that’s not possible, break up your routine with some other form of exercise. I can tell you from experience, it works.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have a 15-year-old daughter who has a boyfriend her age. Her boyfriend visits our daughter in her bedroom, where they lock themselves in for hours. I object to them being alone in a bedroom, but my wife says she “knows” her daughter and that there’s nothing to worry about. Who is right? — Uncomfortable In The South

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: YOU are! Your wife is dreaming! Tell your daughter that from now on, her door will remain open when anyone of the opposite sex is in there with her, or the lock will be removed. (Even better — restrict their visits to the living room.) Do it now. Time may be of the essence.

TO MY READERS: A very Merry Christmas to you all!

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.