Dancer wants more space from classmate

DEAR MISS MANNERS:

I love to dance, and take classes three times a week. There is a woman in one class who just stands still and gets in the way when we move around. It is impossible to keep up when someone keeps blocking one’s way.

It was so bad during the last class that I had to keep stopping to avoid running into her, so I moved to the other side of the room. To my chagrin, she followed me to the other side and continued to block my way!

When I complained to another dancer , he told me that this woman can only see shadows and was staying close to me to follow what I was doing.

Going blind must be awful, and I think it is great that she’s attending a dance class, but there are lots of other dancers to follow. I don’t want her to keep following me , since she obviously cannot see what I’m doing. Is there a kind and tactful way to handle this?

GENTLE READER: One choice would be to inform the leader of the class, and to request that arrangements be made to instruct this student without your having to participate.

Another choice would be to feel flattered at this lady’s admiration, and to use part of your time to guide her in dance steps more directly, thus learning something in addition.

DEAR MISS MANNERS:

I have been giving consumable gifts for Christmas and birthdays in the past few years, partly because people always complain about having too much stuff around, and partly because I can provide something enjoyable on a student’s budget. I have given food, bath things and tickets.

The problem is that I have no way of knowing if the gift was enjoyed or if I should go in a different direction. My friends and family tell me they enjoy the gifts, but they are polite enough to do that even if I gave them something dreadful.

I know I should not ask if people liked gifts, but I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, and I can let it go if need be.

GENTLE READER: The charming custom of exchanging presents — as opposed to the uncharming ones of exchanging shopping lists or payments — has to involve informed guessing. You note people’s tastes and hope they will be pleased (and express gratitude either way).

Miss Manners agrees you are not going to get critical feedback from polite people. But you have another year to observe what they serve at home or order at restaurants, and what shows they see — if not their bathing habits.

Submit your etiquette questions to Miss Manners at dearmissmanners@gmail. com.