Youthful pharmacist fends off comments
DEAR MISS MANNERS:
I have always been told that I look young for my age, which I have chosen to accept as a compliment. I am frequently mistaken for a high school student, despite holding my doctorate.
However, since beginning work as a health care professional, many patients feel the need to bark something along the lines of, “You can’t POSSIBLY be the pharmacist! You’re much too young! How old ARE you??!”
Up to this point, I’ve been providing my age and reassurances that yes, I am the pharmacist. I give them the answers to their questions and send them on their way.
This is really starting to irritate me, as it’s directed at me multiple times a day and it’s none of their business how old I am. Is there any other polite way to get these people to stop asking?
GENTLE READER: Itis insulting to be sized up as you have been, even if it is to credit you with false youth.
What you can say, with a pleasant smile, is: “Perhaps you would prefer to come back tomorrow. I’ll still be the pharmacist, but I’ll be older then.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My parents are first cousins. I have a friend who likes to tell “inbred” jokes about people whose parents are first cousins.
She is not aware that my parents are first cousins, and if she knew, she would be horribly embarrassed. Is there a way to politely put an end to these jokes? I am finding them rather tiresome.
GENTLE READER: The easiest way of refuting prejudice is open to you. “But I AM one” (in this case, “I am the product of one”) is so good a stopper that Miss Manners has heard it used by people who are not really the target of such remarks. And it sounds to her as if your friend could use a small dose of embarrassment.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I notice that sometimes when I say “thank you” to someone, usually in a service context, I hear the response “No problem” or “That’s OK.” This response suggests that the person has heard my gratitude as an apology, which, of course, it is not. I don’t know what to say in response, and usually just smile.
GENTLE READER: Although many people are driven crazy by these common substitutes for “you’re welcome,” Miss Manners notes that other languages — notably French and Spanish — use equivalents. It is annoying to have conventions displaced, but the idea is to say that what was done for you was not seen as an intrusion, so there is no reason for you to feel insulted.
Submit your etiquette questions to Miss Manners at dearmissmanners@gmail. com.