Lower income may bruise boyfriend’s ego

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, “Hal,” and I have been living together for six months. I’m afraid he feels emasculated. Because I make more money, a lot of the responsibility for the bills lands on me. We try to split things down the middle, but recent complications with his job have meant it doesn’t always work out that way.

I love Hal. I don’t want money to be a dividing force, but I don’t know what to say. This has been the elephant in the room.

Hal helps out with cooking and housework, and I don’t mind putting a little more into the bills. I do not want this to be an issue down the road. — Stuck on This in Virginia

DEAR STUCK: The problem with elephants is, the longer they are ignored, the larger the herd becomes. It’s amazing that two important subjects — sex and finances — are such touchy ones.

Choose a time when you and Hal are relaxed, and then bring up your concerns. Tell him how much you appre- ciate him and the efforts he makes to make life easier for you, and that you don’t want money issues to cause problems. He may need to hear you say it. Then encourage him to express his feelings.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were invited by some friends to meet for dinner. We arrived first; they showed up several minutes later. During the meal, the wife said, “I always scan the restaurant to see if there’s anyone else here I know.”

After the checks were paid, the couple left the table. We didn’t know where they had gone. We were leaving when the wife, now sitting at another table with another couple, stopped us to introduce us to them.

I feel they should have waited and walked out with us, saying hello as they passed the table of their other friends.

This isn’t the first time she has done this. Is there a way to politely tell her how rude it is? — Ditched Diner in South Carolina

DEAR DITCHED: If your dinner companion had perfect manners, she would have said, “I see the Joneses over there. We want to go over and say hello, so come with us or go on ahead.” Because you have dined together before, you know this is her pattern. I do not think it is anything to ruin a friendship over.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO MY ASIAN READERS: The Year of the Dog begins today. People born in the Year of the Dog are independent, sincere, loyal and decisive. Undaunted by life’s challenges, they enjoy harmonious relationships with those around them.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.