Former plain Jane obsessed with looks
DEAR ABBY: When I was in my teens, and even into my 20s and 30s, I was a plain Jane. I had little self-confidence. But I’m one of those people who has gotten better looking as I’ve aged. Now in my 50s, I am better looking than many women my age or even younger. Men definitely notice me.
My problem is, I’m now obsessed with my appearance. I constantly worry that I’ll lose my looks. I have even considered cosmetic surgery. I don’t want to be the shallow person I see I’m becoming. What can I do? — Late Bloomer
DEAR LATE BLOOMER:
It isn’t shallow to have the feelings you are experiencing. But remember that beauty is more than what’s on the surface. Perhaps it’s time to start concentrating on qualities that accentuate your inner beauty — kindness, warmth, intelligence, generosity, an appreciation for others — because charm lasts longer than beauty.
This is not to say I don’t appreciate the value of cosmetic surgery. But your appearance should not be the focus of your life because, frankly, it isn’t healthy.
DEAR ABBY: I am writing in response to the letter from “Military Service Marker” you printed on Dec. 22. When my uncle, a military veteran, passed away, he was without a military service marker, too. His two kids didn’t bother to obtain one.
I took the initiative and contacted the VA . I filled out the appropriate paperwork, and my uncle got the marker to which he was entitled free of charge. It was delivered directly to the cemetery, and the only cost involved was the installation. It was well worth it. I felt proud about having done something for a deserving vet! — Bill B. in Missouri
DEAR BILL: My thanks to you and to the scores of other readers who wrote to share this information. It is important to know that relatives of deceased veterans can receive these markers at no cost. Starting the process is as easy as contacting the cemetery, the VA at www. cem.va.gov/hmm, or a local VFW or American Legion post.
DEAR ABBY: I need advice on an old friend who backstabbed me with my former business partner. I’m trying to get back into the field, and this old “friend” is doing well. He has a lot of contacts that could help me start my own company. I’m not sure if I should contact him. Should I? — Uncertain in California
DEAR UNCERTAIN: I think it would be a waste of time. If you expect someone who backstabbed you once to become generous and helpful, you are dreaming. Find another way to network that he can’t “taint.”
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.