Mourning peers an unfamiliar ordeal
Grief-stricken teens face multiple services
PARKLAND, Fla. — Each funeral for the victims of the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High massacre is different yet the same: the mourning relatives, teens walking in clutches wearing black, politicians paying their respects, media cameras pointing at the entrance from across the parking lot.
And each service takes its toll on the young mourners, many of them attending more friends’ funerals in a span of days than many middle-aged people have in their lifetimes. Services for 14 Stoneman Douglas students, the athletic director, a coach and a geography teacher began Friday, two days after the shooting, and will end in the next few days.
Erica Sparrow, a 17-year-old senior, said Monday that she went to her first funeral a couple of weeks ago.
“Now I have one every day,” she said.
She and her friend Lauren Kuperman, also 17, began ticking off names — Meadow Pollack from Friday, Joaquin Oliver from Saturday and Alaina Petty’s on Monday. Three more Tuesday, another Wednesday. It’s both difficult and cathartic, the girls said.
“It kind of helps, but at the same time it makes me sad,” Sparrow said.
Stoneman Douglas senior Lewis Mizen said Monday that he had never attended a funeral for someone his own age before the weekend. He will attend another Tuesday. When an older family member dies, he said, it seems natural that their children and grandchildren speak about their loss, but seeing parents eulogize their child cuts deeply and emotionally.
“Seeing a father freak out, I hope I never have to see something like that again,” Mizen said. “Right now, it all seems very surreal.”
The funerals have taken place in churches and synagogues, funeral homes and conference centers, all packed, sometimes with crowds topping 2,000. The last-arriving mourners have often been forced outside into the Florida heat, where they stand respectfully for an hour, straining to hear a snippet of the service.
Monday’s funeral for Petty, a 14-year-old freshman, was unique but also common in this grieving community.
More than 1,500 mourners, most dressed in black, filed into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Coral Springs to remember the Junior Reserve Officers Training Corps member. Family members spoke about how she had enthusiastically joined other Mormon young people to help with cleanup in September after Hurricane Irma, and of her love of dogs and her confidence and wit.
Her father, Ryan Petty, spoke about the support his family has received from their church, the community and from around the country and world.
“We could not get through this without the love, prayers and support offered,” he said. “We may never know all of the acts of kindness that have been rendered on our behalf this past week. We have witnessed hundreds in just the past few days, but we know that is a small fraction of the total.”
Other fathers and mothers have said similar words in recent days, begging mourners to never forget their child and to treat each other with kindness.