Co-workers’ behavior irks near-retiree
DEAR ABBY: I am almost 62 and struggling to get through work. It’s not because of the work itself, but I am unhappy in the work environment.
I have been here more than 20 years, and I have a real problem with the work ethic of the younger employees. They come in anywhere from a half-hour to two hours late. One takes hourlong breaks, two-hour lunches and then leaves early. Another complains nonstop about her drive, her ex and her aches and pains. I go home every night so stressed out I snap at my poor husband.
I really want to retire. It wouldn’t be a financial burden, although we would have to cut back on a little spending. My husband won’t offer an opinion, but I’d be much happier and healthier if I did. Any advice? — Stressed and Tired
DEAR STRESSED: You might be happier and healthier if you talked to a licensed mental health professional about how to manage stress. You can’t control the behavior of your co-workers. If their lack of punctuality and poor attendance doesn’t bother your employer, you should not let it affect you.
And as to the woman who complains about her aches, her pains and her ex — why are you listening? You have only a few more years until you can retire with all the benefits you have earned — and without having to cut back. Please ride it out.
DEAR ABBY: I had a phone conversation with a cousin on the other side of the country. She has always been judgmental and negative about our cousins, aunts, uncles, etc., who — for the most part — she rarely communicates with. In the past, I’d cut the conversation short because I didn’t want to listen.
During our last chat, she started in on my brother. I gave her a piece of my mind and hung up. Since then, she has texted and called a few times, but I haven’t responded.
I feel bad for what happened, but I refuse to listen to her judge other family members. Should I respond to her? In one of her texts she said she “didn’t mean to upset me,” but I don’t consider that an apology. — Hates Judgment in Ohio
DEAR HATES JUDGMENT: Yes, you should respond. She needs to understand you are changing the rules regarding further conversations.
Explain that it has always made you uncomfortable when she said unkind things about family members, and that when she started in on your brother, you reached your limit. Tell her that in the future when you talk, it must be about positive things and not family members.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.