If I’m everybody’s contact, who’s mine?
DEAR MISS MANNERS:
I started a new job, and they want me to fill out an emergency contact form. But I am in a nuclear family with a bunch of people who can’t even help themselves. My friends have their own problems.
I always chuckle when I have to fill out this sort of form, because I’m usually the one who helps everyone else. Who on earth am I supposed to pick for an emergency contact?!
GENTLE READER: Not being able to serve as your emergency contact herself, Miss Manners cannot solve your immediate problem.
But she does have thoughts about how such requests — now made not just by preschools and employers, but also by social clubs, alarm system companies, gyms and the occasional website — are to be treated.
She appreciates the implication that the form-holder has either the desire or the ability to contact someone on your behalf. She hopes that reflects the reality more than had the box been labeled “next of kin.”
With some exceptions, most such requests require only someone who, if unable to handle the emergency, will find someone who will. A more stringent standard should be applied to such requests from medical practitioners.
DEAR MISS MANNERS:
I am a left-handed student, and wanted to ask about seating arrangements.
In a seminar class, we use the small desks with tops that attach to the right side of the chair. There are usually a few with the writing surface on the opposite side.
However, in my last class, I realized I’d taken the only such desk because I’d arrived early. Is it proper to stay in that seat or to alternate seats with other left-handed students? It’s difficult to take notes when the writing surface is on the “wrong” side.
Alternately, since there are no people with disabilities in the class, would it be wrong for one of us to take the classroom’s table designated for that use until (and if ) the classroom gets more left-handed desks?
GENTLE READER: That you have not pleaded your left-handedness as a medical condition pleases Miss Manners. Your failure to do so does not diminish the reasonableness of asking the school for some accommodation on the grounds of being a recurring customer.
But it avoids the moral indignation that too often accompanies the realization that you will have to speak with the professor to work out a solution. Any and all of your suggestions should be discussed and implemented.
Submit your etiquette questions to Miss Manners at dearmissmanners@gmail. com.