Brother’s fiancee unaware of addiction
DEAR ABBY: My divorced brother is addicted to opiates. My wealthy, enabling mother constantly bails him out financially. My brother is engaged to a very kind woman — a mother of three. She’s not aware of his lies, manipulations, debt and pill addiction.
My brother destroyed a previous marriage with his actions, and I’m finding it difficult to let this happen to another innocent woman. I know that eventually this will come to a head. Do I come forward with the truth now and possibly harm their relationship, or watch them go through with this marriage and hope for the best? — Unsure in Nashville, Tenn.
DEAR UNSURE: Be prepared for the eruption sure to follow, but for the sake of those children, let the woman know what she will be dealing with. Whether she heeds your warning will be up to her, but at least she will know what she’s in for.
DEAR ABBY: My teenage son and daughter confided to me that their younger cousin (15) has been posting on social media that she’s hanging out with men five years older and taking her mother’s car without her knowledge. My teens have warned her she’s making poor choices, but she won’t listen.
It doesn’t help that there is no father around, and her mother doesn’t know how to say “no.” As the girl’s uncle, I need advice on how to intervene. — Privy to a Bad Situation
DEAR PRIVY: It’s definitely time for some adult intervention. If you are at all close with your niece, talk with her about how dangerous what she’s doing is — not only to herself, but the men she’s been seeing because they could land in jail. While you’re at it, tell her mother what you know so she can hide her car keys.
DEAR ABBY: When my wife introduces me at a company event, she says, “This is my husband ; he’s a teacher.” I am uncomfortable being introduced that way because people have the preconceived notion that being a teacher defines who I am.
I have pointed out that people are not usually introduced with their careers, unless they are doctors. My wife says I’m “overreacting.” I have asked her to stop, but she thinks I’m being silly. Your thoughts/comments would be greatly appreciated. — More Than a Teacher in Arizona
DEAR MORE: You and your wife have a bigger problem than how she introduces you. You are married to someone who dismisses and belittles your feelings. Whether you are overreacting is beside the point. If you prefer not to be introduced the way she is doing it, she should have enough respect for you to comply.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.