Lovers reunited despite kids’ objection
DEAR ABBY: I had a brief affair with a married man 36 years ago. “Jerry” had left his wife after learning she was sleeping with his best friend. Our affair ended, and we went on with our lives. Jerry stayed with his wife, and I married the man of my dreams.
After 45 years of marriage, Jerry’s wife died. My husband died suddenly two months before she did. A few years ago, a mutual friend put us together. We enjoy each other’s company.
Jerry’s two daughters are giving him a hard time about us dating. They told him they will never accept me because they know I was the one he had the affair with. They don’t know about their mother’s affair.
A month before she passed, she told one of her daughters that her father would go back to me. My family has welcomed him with open arms. Jerry’s daughters are married, so he’s alone most of the time.
How should we handle them? His son is OK with us. It hurts Jerry when his daughters tell him he’s not to have me at his house or any gatherings they may have. — Brief Affair
DEAR B.A.: Not knowing Jerry’s late wife, I can only guess why she told her daughter what she did. It’s possible it was to prevent you and her husband from rekindling your relationship.
The person to handle it might be the mutual friend. Because the “girls” know only half the story, that person could tell them the other side.
Jerry should also make clear to his daughters that he is now a single adult who doesn’t need anyone telling him who to entertain and that he expects the woman in his life to be treated, at the very least, with civility. Unless he is prepared to draw the line, they will run his life for him.
DEAR ABBY: I recently suffered a heart attack. Everything’s fine now except for some minor damage to my heart and some necessary lifestyle changes. Smoking is out.
I live in a rural area. The only cath lab facility was 45 minutes away by helicopter. My boss and assistant supervisor both traveled 2 1/2 hours to visit me, and my boss and his director are coming here today to transport me home. I would like to show my appreciation for their kindness, but I’m not sure what would be appropriate. — On the Mend
DEAR ON THE MEND: I’m pleased you are doing better. I’m sure anything you choose to give them would be appreciated. Consider taking them out to dinner. Alternatively, perhaps present them with coffee mugs with “hero” or “champion” on them with a card explaining that the word reminded you of them.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.