Rules stymie ‘Dad’ to girlfriend’s kids
DEAR ABBY: Iam32 and in a relationship with a 31-year-old single mother. Her son, “Steven,” is 7. Her daughter, “Jessica,” is 15.
I am a stay-at-home dad. Both kids refer to me as “Dad,” as I have been a part of Steven’s life more than his dad has ever been. I take Steven to various professional appointments, doctors, including a psychiatrist for ADHD, the dentist and various sports activities.
I was informed three weeks ago Jessica is pregnant.whenitakeourboyfor doctor’s visits, they always want guarantor information, and I always sign. But after a recent checkup of his, I called for results and was outright lied to — “We don’t have the results back” — and Jessica’s doctor said they can’t release any information to me.
I’m in this for the long haul. If doctors will let me sign to pay their medical expenses but I can’t have the results, what can I do? — Stay-at-home-dad
DEAR “DAD”: A guarantor is different from a legal guardian or parent. Have their mother call the doctors and request the information so she can share it with you. And if you haven’t suggested to Jessica’s mother that her daughter should be put on long-acting birth control, I think the time has come.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently moved into our dream home and invited my family over. My sister noticed the house had been designed to be handicapped accessible. We confirmed it had been built by an elderly couple.
The doors and walkways are larger than normal, there are handrails in the bathroom, a seat in the shower, etc. She went on to say we shouldn’t have purchased the house because we were “taking it from someone who may have needed it.” Then she compared us to someone who parks in a handicap parking space without a permit.
The thought had never occurred to me. I loved the openness of the floor plan; it was a huge selling point. The house is within walking distance of my work and had been on the market for two years. The sellers were thrilled to have someone buy it. The community has been nothing but welcoming to us and seems glad to have a nice family move into a home that was built by much-loved neighbors. Should we have passed on it? — Dream Home Owner in Kansas
DEAR OWNER: Of course not! The house served the needs of the couple who built it. Now it is yours and doingthesameforyouand your family. Enjoy it! And the next time your jealous sister brings up the subject, hand her an antacid tablet and talk about something else.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.