Suggest friend seek sister’s wedding aid

DEAR ABBY: My best friend and I are middle-aged women. Throughout our long friendship, I have been one of the few people in her life who was there for her as she dealt with boyfriend problems, elderly parents, serious illnesses, deaths, etc.

She became engaged for the first time recently and asked me to go out of town with her to check out a potential wedding venue. While we were there, she looked away (wouldn’t even look me in the eye) and said that only her sister (with whom she doesn’t get along) would be in her wedding party.

Although I was disappointed, I said nothing. I was more disappointed about the way she made the announcement.

Since, she has asked for my advice about things such as invitations and wedding etiquette , instead of asking her sister, who lives out of state. How do I bow out of this untitled role? — Bowing Out in the West

DEAR BOWING OUT: If your friend had felt good about making the announcement, she wouldn’t have hesitated to look you in the eye. I suspect that she included her sister in her wedding party because of pressure from relatives.

Because you feel her questions should be answered by the sister, tell your friend — as kindly as possible — she should be asking her maid of honor, who is “only a phone call away.”

DEAR ABBY: I fell in love with my first crush 30 years ago. He felt the same way, but because I was six years younger, my parents didn’t approve. We lost contact, and over the years, I would sometimes wonder what had happened to him. Last week his cousin found me on Facebook, and I was able to video call him. We realized our feelings haven’t changed.

We both have families. I’m divorced with two young adults. He’s married with three young adults. I don’t want to cause him any problems, and yet, I’m willing to let it play out and see what happens. I just want to see him again, but I’m afraid of what will happen. — Full of Emotions

DEAR FULL OF EMOTIONS: The problem with making important decisions when we are “full of emotions” is they’re usually impulsive and the wrong choice. You and this man are adults with responsibilities to others. If you see him and he still feels the same as you stated, it may be the start of an affair and the end of his marriage.

Because I’m not sure you have the strength to keep your distance if you meet him, ask him to include his wife and family when you do, and bring along your children.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.