Know-it-all houseguest not welcome
DEAR ABBY: My best friend of 40 years and her boyfriend live several states away from my husband and me. Every winter she and her friend expect to come to our home for a week. We simply can no longer do this.
Her friend is a nice guy, but after a few days we can hardly stand it. He talks constantly and knows everything about everything. How can I politely tell my friend that we can’t accommodate them anymore without hurting her feelings? — Weary Out West
DEAR WEARY: When your old friend mentions coming to visit, tell her you aren’t up to having houseguests. If she asks why, say you’re not as young as you used to be; it’s true. Tell her you can accommodate them for a weekend. If that doesn’t work, say your husband isn’t up for company. (Also true.) If neither excuse suffices, you may have to choose between telling your friend the truth and fibbing by saying you plan to be out of town.
DEAR ABBY: For mothers out there who wonder why their “wonderful” grown daughters don’t have boyfriends, maybe it is because they are too dependent on you. No guy wants to be involved with a woman who calls or texts her mom multiple times a day (unless she is ill). No guy wants a girl who can’t make a decision without consulting Mom, and he certainly doesn’t want intimate details of his relationship shared with you.
If you want your daughter to find a man, stay out of her love life and teach her to make her own decisions! — Hates Meddling Mothers
DEAR HATES: I have long advised young women how important it is to gain independence before becoming romantically involved. I agree that women who can stand on their own two feet are more appealing.
DEAR ABBY: I recently received an invitation to a dear friend’s grandson’s birthday party. In lieu of gifts, donations were requested to a choice of politically affiliated “charitable” organizations. I cannot, in good conscience, support any of them.
What’s the appropriate course of action? I don’t want to get into any political discussions with the parents or the grandparents, and I think there will be hurt feelings if I don’t show up. — In a Bind
DEAR IN A BIND: I can’t imagine any 5-year-old being “thrilled” to receive a political donation as a birthday gift.
Because the child is the grandson of a “dear” friend, I think a gift is in order. Make it something a 5-year-old will enjoy, have it delivered and find an excuse not to attend if you feel it will devolve into something you prefer to avoid.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.