Woman’s small stature attracts scrutiny

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a tiny woman. Occasionally, my height fascinates people to a degree that makes me uncomfortable. I once had a large man chase me out of a store and across the parking lot demanding I tell him how tall I am. I felt I had your blessing to berate him for scaring me.

But mainly, it is such a dreadfully boring subject. Why should anyone, least of all me, want to discuss my height?

Having studied your teachings all my life, I thought it was declasse to critique people’s bodies and unalterable physical characteristics, but people who have never met me feel quite comfortable demanding my vital statistics.

Of course, I have a supply of “humorous” responses for the people who mean no harm: “Why do you ask? Is there a roller coaster around here somewhere?” But I am so weary and bored, and I am starting to question these people’s intelligence.

A typical conversation with a stranger approaching me in a public space is: “Wow, you’re so tiny.” “Yes, I am.” “I mean, you are really tiny!” “Yep.” And that loop repeats until I can excuse myself.

To make matters worse, I rarely wear heels and my boyfriend is tall. This seems to be a real sticking point that people want to talk about, and it’s just so rude and stupid. People have even suggested that because of my height, this wonderful man I love should not be with me.

I can’t control what other people say and think, and I would never intentionally meet rudeness with rudeness. Am I just living in the wrong town, among the wrong people? Do I need to move to a country with a shorter populace? Must I grin and bear this forever?

GENTLE READER: Pointing out the obvious is unfortunately a universal human trait — and moving is not likely to change that.

The next time someone comments on your height, Miss Manners recommends that you produce a mysterious smile and say, “Actually, I am not nearly as tiny as you think.” This will at least plunge the silly questioner into confusion until you can make a getaway.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Can I use fine china teacups and saucers alongside clear plastic plates for a bridal tea party?

GENTLE READER: Not without confusing the saucers and upsetting the plates. Miss Manners recommends that you stick with similarly weighted dishes — preferably of china — both for aesthetics and for ease of transport. You may also find the cleanup to be far easier.

Submit your etiquette questions to Miss Manners at dearmissmanners@gmail. com.