Brothers’ feud has their parents divided
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have two sons in their late 30s. We always thought they got along well. Over the past year, they have not been speaking with each other because of hard feelings over current situations.
My husband refuses to stay at either one’s house now when we visit because he’s so upset. When I visit on my own, I stay with our older son because there is no place to stay with the younger one.
I want to continue to visit as I have, understanding there are differences but hoping they will come to a solution. I refuse to choose one over the other, and I’m trying to be consistent with love and be a good role model.
My husband is upset because I don’t support his position of not staying at either house until they make up. This is creating more friction in a situation that is already breaking our hearts. What do you recommend? — Mom in a Difficult Spot
DEAR MOM: I recommend you continue to do what makes you comfortable. Your sons both know you love them. If your husband thinks that your staying in a hotel will somehow manipulate your sons into settling their differences more quickly, he is mistaken. It hasn’t worked so far. Your “boys” are grown men.
DEAR ABBY: My fiance often leaves memory cards out on his dresser after a day of being home alone. I was by myself one day and looked at them. There were photos of a nude woman wrapped in his bedsheet back in 2018. We were dating when they were taken, but not yet living together or engaged.
He dabbles in photography but never informed me he was doing this shoot. I found another set from 2017 — prior to our relationship — that is not as “tastefully” done. Do I have reason for concern? — Uneasy in New York
DEAR UNEASY: If the photos were taken before you and your fiance were exclusive, I doubt you have any reason to worry. However, any questions you have about his “dabbling” would be better addressed directly to him.
DEAR ABBY: I have a grown daughter whom my ex-husband named “Brenda.” (It is her middle name.) She’s married, a mother of five and lived abroad for quite some time. She’s back in the U.S. now and living 50 miles from our family. She now wants to be called by her first name, which is “Riley.” Everyone here knows her as Brenda. I still call her Brenda. How can this be resolved? — Not Happy in the South
DEAR NOT HAPPY: Use the name your adult daughter prefers. If you refuse, expect the distance between you to become greater than 50 miles.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.