Co-worker yells over parking lot brush

DEAR MISS MANNERS: While I was at work, a co-worker berated me loudly over an incident in our parking lot.

The lot is overcrowded. I had found a space and pulled into the (empty) oncoming lane to get a better angle into it. Then my co-worker’s car came around the corner heading in my direction. I quickly abandoned the space, and pulled back into my lane.

At the time, I didn’t think muchofit,asitwasnotreally a close call. However, in front of my co-workers, he came up and told me I nearly hit him, and kept repeating this. Of course, everyone else came over to gawk. I apologized repeatedly and explainedthatiwasjust trying to park. I didn’t even mention that he was driving quitefast.

Thissituationwasextremely embarrassing, as I am very sensitive and tend to agonize over every mistakeimake.iamsoembarrassedthatidon’tevenwant to go back into the office.

Fortunately, he will be out of the office for the next few days, but how do I handle this the next time I see him? Should I apologize again?

GENTLE READER: Parking your car was not a mistake. Careening around the corner at a high speed, yelling at you, and doing so in front of your co-workers were three, of escalating seriousness.

You may therefore be surprised when Miss Manners applauds your initial apology: It was worth trying to defuse the situation, and it would have provided an opportunity to add, “I was pulling into the space and it sounds like you came around the corner without seeing me.”

This would have alerted everyone what really happened — something they may already surmise, given your co-worker’s subsequent behavior. One apology for a non-infraction is, however, more than enough.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have a cousin who became engaged five years ago. Since then, he and his fiancee have had two children and are co-parents to a third child from a previous marriage. They own a house and are living as a married couple in everything but legality.

Is it proper to still refer to them as “fiances”?

GENTLE READER: Your cousin, his fiancee and their children apparently have more pressing things to do than legalize their relationship.

She therefore decrees that the whole assortment will henceforth be known as “the cousins” — as in, “We were going to go on vacation with the cousins, but they couldn’t make up their minds where they wanted to go.”

Submit your etiquette questions to Miss Manners at dearmissmanners@gmail. com.