Giving kidney to sister worries woman
DEAR ABBY: I’m waiting to donate my kidney to my sister, who is a year older than I am. My husband and I traveled many hours to get evaluated and tested at her clinic, so the insurance would cover the cost.
Before heading back to our home state, we decided to stop by to pay her a surprise visit and, honestly, she did something that’s making me rethink my decision. She was eating pizza and drinking a can of soda. Abby, my sister is on dialysis and supposed to be following a strict diet.
I have been disciplined all my adult life, living a healthy life and making smart choices to benefit my body. How can I stress to her how important it is to me that she adopt better eating habits if she is to get my kidney? — Second Thoughts in Texas
DEAR SECOND THOUGHTS: Your concerns are valid. Donating a kidney is a decision that needs to be well thought out. It shouldn’t be made because you feel pressure based on who you’re donating to, in your case, your sister. Keep in mind, it’s impossible to control another person’s behavior. Speak up now and let her know how you felt about what you saw, but understand it won’t necessarily guarantee that she will make any changes.
My suggestion is to continue this conversation with your living donor social worker or independent living donor advocate at the transplant center where you were evaluated. These professionals can help to guide you toward making the best decision.
While being a living kidney donor can be a positive and beautiful experience, it is equally important to make sure that it’s the right decision for you. For those who are interested in being a potential kidney donor and would like to confidentially connect with someone who has donated, contact the Patient Information Help
Line of the National Kidney Foundation at 855-6532273. However: this is not a substitute for speaking with a living donor social worker or ILDA.
DEAR ABBY: I understand that nonbinary folks prefer the pronoun “they” instead of “she” or “he.” It’s going to take some getting used to, but that’s OK. My question is, when using “they” but referring to one person, do you use a singular or plural verb? — The Grammar Nerd
DEAR GRAMMAR: I agree that the usage will take some people awhile to get used to, but language is constantly changing. Use the plural form of the verb when speaking about a nonbinary or gender-fluid person who prefers “they.” Example: “They are a new member of our company.”
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.