Hostile man ignores social distancing
DEAR ABBY: I encountered a frightening man in the hardware store the other day. I was standing at the counter paying for an item when a man behind me came at me, inches from my face, in an aggressive and threatening way. When I asked him if he could please step 6 feet away, he became even more hostile and accused me of asking in the wrong way.
Although I was alarmed, I was polite. When I said I was just asking for the required space, he said he was showing me how thoughtless I am because I wasn’t wearing a mask or gloves. Neither was he, nor were the employees and some other shoppers. When I pointed that out, he countered even more loudly that I was the problem. As I was leaving, he yelled after me that he hoped I got the virus and that he worked in a hospital.
I go for a walk every day for exercise and to shop for necessary groceries. I have experienced people in aisles coming very close to me. I step aside to give space for others. This man was aggressive for no reason. What should I have done other than just walk quickly away? — Threatened in Oakland, Calif.
DEAR THREATENED: You did the right thing. I seriously doubt the person worked in or even near a hospital, because if he did, he would have taken the proper safety precautions. With someone so angry, aggressive and clearly looking for trouble, the right thing to do was to get away as quickly and safely as possible.
DEAR ABBY: Several months ago, a friend of mine behaved badly and offended me and another dinner guest. His wife shut him down fairly quickly. The next day, when I tried to explain to him why what he did was inappropriate, he misinterpreted my comments and, because of his low self-esteem, became offended even though he was the offensive person. I immediately apologized but got no response. Anyone who understands basic psychology will recognize this defensive and deflective self-defense mechanism for what it was.
Abby, these are people I love dearly. Now they no longer speak to me, and I’m at a loss about what to do besides continue to pray for them. Advice? — Missing My Dearest Friends
DEAR MISSING: Your former friend appears to be both aggressive and hypersensitive. Continue praying, but be careful what you pray for because this person appears to be very high-maintenance. Surely you can fill the emptiness with friends who are easier to get along with and who are willing to talk out difficult situations like adults.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.