Dad feels helpless to fix teen’s crisis

DEAR ABBY: My 14-yearold daughter recently came out of the closet, and it has made my husband and me quite upset. She says she is “bicurious, pansexual and polyamorous.” She now insists everyone call her by a gender-neutral name.

Boys used to like her, and she used to have friends, but she threw it all away to be “unique.”

She is also letting herself go. She used to be in good shape, but she quit track and field because it was a “gender-conforming” sport. She is now getting chubby, looks horrible and is depressed. Help! — Dad Without Answers

DEAR DAD: Your daughter may, indeed, be depressed. It is very important that you not panic. Her hair will grow back; her gender identity and sexual orientation will be confirmed with time.

The most important suggestion I can offer would be to love your daughter, stop criticizing her and make an appointment for you and your husband to talk with a psychologist.

DEAR ABBY: I met this beautiful woman online three months ago. We haven’t met in person yet, but plan to. We spend at least eight hours a day online together, and our relationship has really advanced.

My dilemma is, she has a second Facebook account and absolutely refuses to accept my friend request. She says she needs her privacy. She also tells me her friends on that page are all male co-workers.

Am I wrong to be upset if she refuses to let me see that profile or be one of her friends there? What’s going on here? — Stuck on Her in Pennsylvania

DEAR STUCK: Although you have spent a lot of time online with this woman, your relationship is still new. As your relationship proceeds, how will you feel about the fact that most of her friends are other men?

I do think there is something going on, which is the reason she doesn’t want you to see that account. The most important question is: Do you trust her? You won’t know the answer to that until your relationship has developed further.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of 11 years told me that when his former motherin-law dies, he would like to go to the funeral. He was friendly with her before he married her daughter. I’m not OK with this. — Unusual in the South

DEAR UNUSUAL: If your husband feels the need to pay his respects to his former mother-in-law, he should do it. And when he does, it would be nice if you were at his side.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.