Young man debates merits of virginity
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 28-year-old male who is still a virgin. I always wanted to be intimate with a virgin female for my first time, but I have never met one. I’ve had opportunities for sex but refrained because she wasn’t a virgin. The older I have gotten, the harder it has become to achieve my dream of being someone’s first and sharing this wonderful experience together.
I know I have missed out on an important aspect of life. Should I start dating younger women, or let go of my fairy-tale first-time fantasy and have sex with just anybody, knowing I’ll regret it? — Fairy-tale Dream
DEAR FAIRY-TALE DREAM:
Consider pushing the pause button on your fantasy until the pandemic is under control. Before going forward, figure out why sex with another virgin is so important to you. Once you have the answer to that, consider what you have to offer a girl like the one you fantasize about. Many virgins are saving themselves for marriage.
DEAR ABBY: I am 55 and recently started dating “Paul,” a 54-year-old man. His 26-year-old daughter, “Andrea,” lives with him. My problem is, she invites herself along on our weekend getaways, small trips, etc. Andrea is a college graduate working for her dad’s company, but she has no outside interests, no social skills, and she’s afraid to talk to people one-on-one.
Paul doesn’t know what to do. His daughter doesn’t want to live with her mom, and he’s trying to get her acclimated to being her own person and independent. I suggested a life coach. He knows he enables her to a certain extent. — Three’s a Crowd in the Midwest
DEAR THREE’S A CROWD:
It should be obvious that Paul’s attempts to help his daughter not only haven’t worked but may have contributed to her problem. She needs professional help for her severe social anxiety. Start with her physician.
DEAR ABBY: I was cheated on by my ex-husband. Since our divorce, I am interested only in married men. I have been to therapy, but I can’t seem to shake it. I hit on married men because I don’t believe all men are faithful. Is this unhealthy, and what can I do about it? — Not Right in the North
DEAR NOT RIGHT: You didn’t mention how long ago your divorce happened, but hitting on married men may be your way of ensuring that you won’t become so deeply involved your heart is broken again. Perhaps you will be less inclined to continue these liaisons if you take a moment to consider their effect on the wives and children involved.