Requests for holiday gift lists annoy
DEAR MISS MANNERS:
I enjoy picking out “just the right gift” for various family members at Christmas. However, each year, several family members ask me what gift they should purchase for my children. My mother insists that I am being difficult for not providing her with a gift list.
I find these requests incredibly tacky. Am I being unreasonable?
GENTLE READER:
Although Miss Manners believes that the meaning behind giving presents is the thought put into their selection, she is not dogmatic on the point.
It has been some time since your mother had a 10-year-old. Treat her request as a genuine desire for guidance on what would be meaningful, which requires providing something more than a rebuke and something less than a list of catalog numbers.
DEAR MISS MANNERS:
In a recent delivery of my daily newspaper, there was a letter in rhyme from our paper deliverer, touting her services throughout the year. I received the same “poem” from our previous carrier, and most years, I sent a holiday gift (monetary). This new carrier also included a self-addressed envelope to accompany her letter.
While I am generous by nature, this was a turn-off. There’s a part of me that would like to respond in writing that I normally send a check to the carrier, but because she included an envelope, I was offended. Or should I succumb to the convenience of not needing to address an envelope?
Do you wish to be the customer in apartment 2B who expressed gratitude for a year of service, or the grouch who (rudely) corrected another person’s manners? If, after you have chosen the
GENTLE READER:
former, your carrier neglects to send a thank-you letter, in rhyme or not, then next year you have Miss Manners’ permission to skip the holiday gratuity.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Here come the holidays, and with them come gifts shipped from various online retailers. Last year, a gift arrived with no indication of who sent it! How can one learn whom to thank?
GENTLE READER: In these days of online shopping, matching unmarked presents with their givers appears likely to become a permanent feature of the holidays. While Miss Manners recognizes this is less welcome than the gifts themselves, she takes consolation in the likelihood that the number of suspects is limited. It is therefore not unreasonable to expect a limited effort to identify the perpetrators.