Jealousy a barrier between siblings
DEAR ABBY: I’m an American man who was adopted as an infant. Several years ago, I found my birth parents. They are not from America. My mother came here to give birth and left. Sometime later she married my father and had more children. I’m in touch with the entire family, but mainly my birth parents.
My biological siblings are jealous of my success in life and make it plain they don’t approve of much that I do. They also make sure I know I’m not really part of the family because we didn’t grow up together (although we are, by blood, 100 percent siblings).
I deal with this the best I can, but now I’m getting flak from them because of my political views. When my sister turned 40 this year, I sent her a card, a Facebook post and a text message. I turned 50 at the same time and heard not a word from her.
Although my siblings are not Americans, they feel the need to trash our country, our government and our way of life. I’m tempted to cut ties with them. — Disappointed and Excluded
DEAR DISAPPOINTED: Your family is the family that raised and nurtured you. I, too, am sorry you don’t have a better relationship with these jealous, judgmental people. You are related by blood — nothing more.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 26-year-old male in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend, who is
18. I love her to the moon and back, but I feel like she only stays with me because I can buy her things. She gets upset with me when I don’t get them for her. She says I value my mother and others before her.
I love her so much, and I want to marry her. I’m a minister at a church. She thinks she should take priority before my bills and taking care of my mother, who can barely walk. What do I do? —
Uneasy in New Jersey
DEAR UNEASY: From what you have written, it appears you are involved with an 18-year-old self-involved gold digger who does seem to be with you only because of what you give her. She hasn’t yet learned (1) That a gift should be voluntary and appreciated, rather than extorted, and (2) the way a man treats his mother is the way he will treat his wife.
Since you asked my advice, here it is: Close your wallet and ditch this “girl.”
DEAR READERS: Well, 2020, a year like no other in recent memory, has drawn to a close! I join you tonight in toasting a 2021 that will be less challenging for all of us. If you’re celebrating this evening, please take measures to protect your health and the safety of others. — Love, Abby