Woman unhappy living with boyfriend
I have been with the same man for almost 30 years. We are not married and have no children together. He is 15 years older than I am.
We have been living in his house for seven years. I feel more like a renter than a partner. I give him money every month, and we sleep in separate rooms. He wants to control everything in his house, including how to clean, cook or what we eat.
He is a lifelong bachelor, while I have two adult children and a couple of grandkids. I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. I work all day; he doesn’t. I want to leave, but at the same time, I care and worry about him.— Disillusioned in Illinois
Gather your courage and start an honest conversation with your housemate. Then outline the changes that would make you happy. If he isn’t willing to compromise, pack your bags.
I’ve been “friends” with a woman for 25 years. For a time, we were best friends and did
DEAR ABBY everything together, but we couldn’t be more different. It caused many fights and disagreements over the years. She has deeply hurt and embarrassed me countless times. She ruined birthdays, damaged other relationships — even ruined my bachelorette party. I don’t know why I still bother with her. I think because of our deep roots, it’s hard to let go.
At the moment, we haven’t spoken in more than two months, and I know she’s upset with me yet again. Should I reach out and mend the bond? Do I use this as a stepping stone to start moving on? I love her, but I know it really is a toxic relationship. — Off Again in New Jersey
Please reread the last sentence of your letter. Do not bother reaching out and trying to mend the breach in your relationship. You cannot fix what’s wrong with this old friend, but you can move on. Her silence is giving you the opportunity. Take it!
My son is getting married in a couple of weeks. Due to COVID-19, he and his fiancee are having to downsize the list of invitees. This includes asking those who have already RSVP’D “yes” and/or have already given them a wedding gift not to attend. Should they return the wedding gifts to those they are disinviting to the wedding? — Wondering in the South
Your son and his fiancee should at least to return the gifts. Considering the reason for the downsizing, some of the no-longer-invited guests may tell them to keep them along with their good wishes, while others will not.
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