Brother has valid reason not to forgive
DEAR ABBY: Iama senior male. I understand I may have some beliefs that others find old-fashioned. However, I consciously try to be tolerant of others’ feelings and beliefs.that said, my problem is with my younger brother, who is a homosexual. I have always tried to ignore that side of his life and, consequently, we have always had a good relationship. He lives in another state, so we only talk on the telephone.
A couple of months ago while we were talking, the subject of sexuality came up, and I told him I find the fact that he is gay “disgusting.” I know it was a poor choice of words. I merely meant to say that I am and always have been totally heterosexual.
I left several messages apologizing for anything I said that he found objectionable. Now, when I try to contact him, he doesn’t answer my phone calls.
Abby, I miss my brother. I truly love him, and I don’t want to lose all contact with him. — Feels Like a Fool
DEAR FEELS LIKE: I have never understood why so many straight people spend so much time obsessing about what gay people might be doing behind closed doors. That, to me, is disgusting.
I’ll be frank. After what you said to your brother, he would have to be a saint to forgive you.
He is doing what emotionally healthy people do, erasing a negative influence from his life.
You can continue trying to apologize by penning a heartfelt letter of apology and remorse, promising to never use those words again, and sending it to your brother. But if he continues to be unreceptive, you will have to live with it.
DEAR ABBY: I met a man online seven months ago. We hit it off right away. I checked to make sure he wasn’t a “catfisher” and everything checked out. We talk on the phone at least twice a day, Facebook Messenger and video chat. He sent me a card for my birthday along with some money.
I have developed strong feelings for him, and he has told me he loves me. He has told me many times he wants to meet, but we couldn’t do it because of the pandemic.
I don’t know what to do. Should I keep waiting or just stay friends with him? — Brokenhearted
DEAR BROKENHEARTED: Because “circumstances” prevent you from meeting this man in person, try hard to regain your balance and stay friends. Although you think you know him, until you finally meet in person, you really don’t.