Son-in-law crosses the line at dinner

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My loving daughter and her husband have been having dinner every night with us since my wife and I have both been too ill to cook.

They bring their meal to our house and share with us. They have been extremely generous and helpful during our recovery time.

My son-in-law has started an irritating habit of holding up fingers as I am talking, supposedly indicating the number of times he has heard the story I am telling.

This was somewhat amusing the first time or two, but has gotten to the point where I don’t want to say much of anything at the table.

How should this be handled? We love them both dearly and need and appreciate their help very much.

GENTLE READER:

Appeal to your daughter: “I am afraid that I bore Rupert with my stories. Perhaps if you have heard them before, you can just gently remind me and I will start another subject.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I bring a dish to a gathering, is it proper for another guest to add seasonings to it to suit their taste?

I believe it’s only right to season the food you’ve taken, not the entire dish. Two family members are always trying to adjust the food for everyone to their specific tastes.

GENTLE READER: It is both rude and presumptuous. As the cook, you certainly seasoned your food with general tastes in mind. Miss Manners therefore advises you to keep the lid on until eating time.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it bad manners for the host of a shower to play the games and win the prizes?

I co-hosted a baby shower at work with two of my co-workers. We played several games with small prizes. We also had a diaper raffle, and the prize was much larger — worth more than $50. The raffle continued after the shower through the end of the day.

I was horrified and embarrassed to learn that the winner of the diaper raffle was one of my co-hosts. It never occurred to me to say the hosts should not play the games or win the prizes. I just assumed that went without saying. Am I wrong in thinking this way?

GENTLE READER: Who thought that giving away money for a non-work-related event — at work, no less — was a good idea?

This whole event seems misguided, start to finish. If you are going to play silly games and celebrate a co-worker, fine, but please leave cash prizes out of it. Even if that was the only incentive for anyone to attend. Or, it seems, to host.

Submit your etiquette questions to Miss Manners at dearmissmanners@gmail. com.