Mixed signals after lengthy separation
DEAR ABBY: I have been talking to my ex-boyfriend of more than 22 years. We have a grown son. We are now in our 50s and talking and texting again. I still love him, and I want a relationship with him, but I’m not sure he wants me back.
At the end of our last phone call he said, “It’s been a long time. Twenty-two years. We are both different people now. I don’t know if it could be like it was then,” and we said goodnight.
Should I wait for him to text me back? I don’t even know if he’s dating someone. — Second Chance in the East
DEAR SECOND CHANCE: Continue talking to your ex and let this scenario play out further. Is he initiating these calls and texts, or are you? If it’s him, that’s a hopeful sign. Yes, it is true you are both different people now — but that can be a plus. With the passage of time, you both may have mellowed and matured. If the discussions continue, you will find out soon enough if he’s involved with someone or interested in getting back together.
DEAR ABBY: My wife is very protective of our dog, “Spencer.” I agree with her that Spencer should not receive table food. Yesterday, my wife put a large pile of dog vomit on my desk. She said it “proves” I have been feeding Spencer. Her accusation is not true.
How should I respond? — Flabbergasted in Iowa
DEAR FLABBERGASTED: There can be various reasons for a dog having an upset stomach besides having consumed table scraps. As to your wife putting vomit on your desk, well, since you asked — I wouldn’t blame you if you made it plain that she is in the doghouse.
DEAR ABBY: When someone gives a gift to someone, shouldn’t it be opened in the presence of the giver? My 12-year-old daughter ran cross country, and after the season ended, there was a banquet. At the banquet, several kids approached the coach and gave him cards. We gave him a gift certificate. When my daughter gave him the envelope, he laid it down with the other cards and said, “thanks.” I think he should have opened it and read the contents while my daughter was standing there. What do you think? — Lisa in Colorado
DEAR LISA: Once a gift is given, it belongs to the receiver to do with as he or she pleases. Your daughter’s coach was under no obligation to open the envelope in your daughter’s presence. If he recognized the envelope contained more than good wishes, he may have wanted to spare the other athletes embarrassment if they could not afford to be as generous as your family.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.