Simple but profound gestures can show veterans our gratitude

More than 200,000 veterans of the U.S. armed services call Nevada “home.” That’s more than 8% of the state population and places the Silver State among the highest per capita populations of veterans in the country.

Before they were veterans, these brave Americans came from all walks of life. They came from urban inner cities and rural farm country, Appalachian hollers and the painted deserts of the Southwest. They identified as members of every race, religion, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation and political party — even if they didn’t talk about it or live openly. Some were looking for structure or the chance to fulfill a multigenerational legacy of military service, while others sought a chance to escape and break a multigenerational cycle of poverty.

But no matter where they came from and what their backgrounds, identities or motivations might have been, today, they are all veterans. Each and every one of them swore an oath to sacrifice their own safety and security in the pursuit of safety and security for others. They volunteered to stand in harm’s way to protect their family, friends, communities and country. And they are all deserving of our gratitude.

This has been a difficult year for veterans and active-duty service members alike. Wars are raging in Ukraine and the Middle East. China is becoming increasingly aggressive. North Korea is becoming increasingly unhinged. And the widespread availability of technology that can quickly and affordably create remarkably convincing — yet nonetheless fake — photos, videos, audio and text have left the entire world questioning how to know what is real.

There are good reasons for our veterans to be fearful or anxious right now. Many of them bore witness to gruesome battles that burned painful and disturbing images into their minds. Now, similar images are once again on American television screens and newspapers, bringing long-forgotten demons to the surface with them.

That’s why we’re using this Veterans Day to issue a call to action for the rest of us to serve our country by serving the men and women who wore the uniform.

Almost every one of us knows someone who has served in the U.S. armed services. And yet, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 40% of veterans experience feelings of isolation and loneliness on a regular basis, with 15-17% experiencing serious symptoms of depression at least three days a week.

These ongoing symptoms end in tragedy far too often. While 2021-22 saw an overall decrease in the number of veteran suicides, the Department of Veterans Affairs estimates that veterans are still at a 57% higher risk of suicide than their civilian counterparts.

Active-duty service members spend long periods of time building familylike bonds. They share living, learning and workspace for months if not years at a time. Losing those relationships upon return to civilian life can be difficult. And according to the VA, even veterans with robust civilian family and friend circles can have difficulty connecting to civilians who can’t relate to their experiences.

A few weeks ago, we wrote about the Buddy Check program and the role that veterans can play in connecting to other veterans.

Now, on Veterans Day, we are calling on civilians to play our part by reaching out to our friends and family who wore the uniform to not only thank them for their service, but to try and genuinely connect with them.

While building bonds between veterans and civilians can pose unique challenges, the CDC and VA provide the following tips:

Recognize and respect that other people are experts on their lives. Try to avoid challenging their perspective of their own lives or experiences.

Ask permission before showing up in person or inviting others to join you so that the veteran doesn’t feel ambushed or outnumbered.

Ask about basic needs like food and housing. Adjusting to civilian life is all the more challenging if basic needs aren’t secure and reliable.

Ask about how the current cycle of news and politics is affecting them, including fears and anxieties they might be experiencing. Be willing to be vulnerable and share your own fears and anxieties. Overcoming isolation requires volunteering to let veterans know that they are not alone in feeling fear, anxiety or uncertainty.

Acknowledge when you don’t know something or feel there is a gap in culture due to your own lack of military service. This type of honesty builds trust by demonstrating respect and understanding for the fact that you may not be able to fully understand a veteran’s experience.

Recognize feelings of isolation and offer to do an activity with them. Even something as simple as watching a ballgame together or going for a walk can have a huge impact. Ask about connections to other service members or friends.

Always thank them for sharing private and vulnerable information and let them know how valuable and important they are to you.

Every veteran’s journey is unique to them as an individual, and most struggles can be addressed by good friends, family and people who lovingly recognize that civilian life can be a challenge. Fortunately, you don’t have to be an expert to be a friend.

But if you encounter situations where you feel you need additional support or expertise, there are resources to help with everything from substance abuse, mental health problems, homelessness and more.

The Veteran Wellness Alliance is a coalition of organizations like the Wounded Warrior Project, Team Rubicon and Student Veterans of America, that empowers veterans to thrive both on and off the battlefield. Its website, veterancheckin.org, has resources and information for connecting with veterans organizations, service providers and care networks.

Similar organizations, such as the American Red Cross Military and Veteran Caregiver Network and the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, offer support and resources for veterans’ family, caregivers or survivors.

In the case of an imminent crisis, the Veteran’s Crisis Line is always just a phone call away. Dial 988 and select option 1. This Veterans Day, let’s celebrate veterans by showing up, showing support and showing them that they are not alone.