Take a deep breath and cool down

Dr. Wallace: I’m 17 and so is my girlfriend. We have been going out every Friday and Saturday night for over a year. We’re both honors students and active in school and church. We do not take drugs, smoke, or drink alcohol and we are not sexually active.

Until last week Christine had a 12:30 a.m. curfew. Just because she was five minutes late last Saturday, her father moved her curfew to midnight. This really has me upset. Why should she be punished for being late one time for a total of 300 seconds? The reason we were 300 seconds late was that I forgot to wear my watch and the clock on the dashboard of my car was five minutes slow.

I’ve talked to my girlfriend and even though she doesn’t think the punishment fits the “crime,” she isn’t too upset. I’m the one who is uptight. In reality, I’m also being punished and I don’t think it’s fair.

I would like to have a meeting with Christine’s father to explain my displeasure with her punishment. She doesn’t want me to say anything to him about his unreasonable discipline. But my father agrees with me and wants me to talk to Christine’s father to see if he will change his mind about the shortened curfew. I’d like your opinion, please. —-Jared, Milwaukee, Wis.

Jared: Take a deep breath and cool down. I can understand your being upset by the decision to shorten your girlfriend’s curfew, but if you put your two cents’ worth into the matter, believe me, you’ll only make things worse.

Simply stated, this is none of your business. It’s strictly between Christine and her father. If Christine is unhappy with the punishment, she needs to initiate a discussion about it. What you need to do is wear your watch when you go out and make sure you don’t miss curfew again.

In all likelihood, her dad will let up soon enough and return his daughter to a 12:30 curfew.

Dr. Wallace: I’m a high school senior and will be in college next September. I participate in lots of activities. I’m president of the pep club, run cross-country, play in the band, and I had the lead in two theatrical productions. I also maintain a high B average.

My parents believe that I should be an A student. They want me to concentrate on bringing my grade-point average up my senior year so I’ll have a better chance of getting into the college they’ve chosen for me. They feel my school activities have taken away from my study time, hurting my grade-point average. However, I don’t think this is the case, and I really would be disappointed if I had to give up all my extracurricular activities. Help! — Nameless, St. Paul, Minn.

Nameless: It is important to have a good grade-point average to get into college and with a high B average, you certainly do. Your parents need to understand that colleges and universities, including the best schools in the country, such as Harvard, Yale, Stanford, and Knox, look favorably on students who participate in extracurricular activities as well. Such participation demonstrates a well-rounded education.

A study of over 700 high school valedictorians, conducted by the University of Michigan, showed that 87 percent took part in at least one extracurricular activity and 76 percent were involved in two or more. Top students have many interests and usually find a way to be involved in activities above and beyond their studies.

By the way, I hope that you, and not just your parents, have input into which college you attend next year. After all, it’s your future.