Remembering former educator Ralph Wetmore

He was probably the best school administrator I ever worked for. Of course, I’m referring to Lodi legend Ralph Wetmore. The middle school principal and later director of personnel, passed away on Dec. 2, at 92 years of age.

Back in 1975, I was looking for a counseling position. Previously, I had been working in the television advertising business. The pressured pace and cutthroat competition was not for me. There was a personal need to change directions and enter a field where I could serve the emotional needs of people.

At that time, I had no graduate degree or counseling credential, but was in the process of earning a master’s in marriage, family and child counseling.

It was in December when Ralph interviewed me at Lodi Senior Elementary. Although there was competition from candidates with the proper paperwork, he seemed to like my background and future plans. He offered the position. I vowed not to let him down and do my best to affirm his choice.

During our conversation, Ralph told me how years earlier he had been hired in Lodi. It was a much closer community back then. He said his circa 1950 interview took place in a farm field — conducted by a lone board member who sat on a John Deere tractor.

But by the 1970s, life had gotten more complicated for both of us.

Once during my tenure at his school, a parent called and complained. She was quite controlling and offended that I had talked to her son without her knowledge.

At that time, it was my goal to contact every student for an introductory “meet and greet.”

Mr. Wetmore handled the situation by diplomatically, calming the overanxious parent and complimenting me for going beyond the call of duty.

Still another time, a teacher stomped on the American flag. You can imagine the outrage that generated in our community. Yet Ralph not only resolved the issue, but enabled the short-sighted teacher to keep his job. The “problem” never occurred again.

I think what made him an outstanding principal was the great respect he had for different people, their different backgrounds, along with his down-to-earth approach to human relationships.

He had a genuine desire to help others. I never saw him put anyone down.

If you had asked folks on the Senior Elementary faculty during the 1970s, they all would have agreed that Ralph was a class act. He and his vice-principal, Hilda Wentland, treated everyone with the utmost respect. Conflicts among staff and with management were rare occurrences. Thanks to his style, it really was one big happy family.

Retired assistant principal and psychologist Jim Fenelon recalls fondly how Ralph had helped him complete his life credentialing. Fenelon remained with the district for a number of years.

Historian Greg Gores was a rookie teacher at Senior Elementary. He remembers how Ralph was very helpful and also how he encouraged creativity in the classroom.

“We did what Mr. Wetmore asked us to do — not because he was the boss, but because we respected him,” Gores said.

When I left Senior Elementary in 1978, Ralph was still supportive. By then, I had finished my master’s and was working on another advanced degree. It was his influence that got me a position at Tokay High School, an instructor’s job at Delta College, and eventually paved the way for a graduate school position at Chapman University.

Of course, this former director of personnel could be irritated by various folks — including myself. Yet he always remained professional. Years later, he was on the district negotiating team opposite various employee unions. I was a union negotiator, and he seemed upset about some of my more traditional assertive table tactics.

I think it was because he did not believe in conflict and did his best to find mutual grounds to resolve differences.

Despite his outstanding executive abilities, Ralph remained a very modest person. For the last few years, I tried to get him to sit down for an interview, but he always managed to avoid it by using a number of humorous tactics.

But now, Ralph, you can no longer evade me.

The time has come to share your leadership talents with others, and I am more than honored to be one of the many to do so. You, my friend, will be missed. Steve Hansen is a Lodi writer.