Your story of gang life is a tragedy
DR. WALLACE: Someone once wrote to you and wondered why a teen girl would ever get involved with a gang activity. Well, I’ll tell you the reason I got involved.
I’m a 16-year-old girl and I’m in an all-girls club that has 22 members that meet regularly. I won’t tell you our club name or our location because we are not looking for publicity.
I’m an only child and live at home with my mom and stepfather who are both drug addicts. I have no idea who my real father is because my mother says she is not even sure and she has never had any support from him.
My stepfather is a good-for-nothing fool who supported his drug habit with an inheritance he got years ago and now doesn’t have any left. I totally hate this man. He sexually molested me on several occasions when I was only 13. My mom called me a liar when I told her about it and threatened to send me to a reform school for lying. My home life was so miserable that by the time I was 14 I was stealing alcohol and drugs from them so I could get high and not think about it.
Then by the time I reached 15, I was old enough to get invited to join this club. I knew some of the girls before, and I wanted to be accepted so I could feel I belonged somewhere. I’m not OK with everything they do, but I go along with things and don’t cause them any problems. I enjoy seeing these friends every
ROBERT WALLACE
day and having something to be a part of, kind of like a family. If and when I meet a nice guy I’ll probably leave the club, but for now, it’s really like a family that I can enjoy, not like I had with my so-called parents. — Nameless, El Paso, Texas
NAMELESS: Your story is a tragedy and I understand and respect your need for a substitute family. However, if the club you belong to is involved in illegal or especially violent activities, all you are doing is digging yourself into a deeper hole.
Please understand that my heart goes out to you and to the far too many young people in this country who find themselves in similar circumstances: unloved, unwanted and even abused at home.
Your letter points out the severity of this problem and I’m glad you contacted me. Gang activity is a national dilemma. It is important to understand why gangs exist, but it is more important for society to do everything possible to provide alternative programs (safe havens) for teens whose parents fail in their parental responsibilities. Many teens who feel they are unloved, neglected, abused, and even abandoned, will search for acceptance. In many cases, it is the gang that provides these important needs.