It keeps happening
Dear Annie: I wrote to you earlier this year about my lovely, charming neighbor and friend named “Tara,” who is quite overweight and broke my living room chair. I was so embarrassed for her that I did not say anything, and neither did she. I’ve never mentioned it since. That repair was over $90 — a lot of money to me.
Well, Tara came over recently, and before I could suggest going out for coffee, she sat in my beautiful living room chair again. Immediately, there was a loud pop.
Ugh! The spring is completely out of the bottom of the chair again. And the upholsterer says it will cost at least another $90 to repair it.
What is the etiquette for telling a neighbor with whom you’re friends that she has obviously broken an item of yours? How should I bring it up? She will have cost me about $200 in furniture repairs. I have to think she knows she breaks furniture when she sits in it, because after each incident, she immediately said, “Did I break it?”
Tara can afford to pay for the damage. And she states all the time that she is a good Christian woman, which I wholly think is true. I’m out a lot of money, and I’d like her to pay for it. I just do not know how to bring it up while preserving the friendship. — Broken Living Room
Dear Broken: If you remain silent, resentment will pile on until you reach your own breaking point. To preserve your friendship and your furniture, you need to tell Tara the truth.
Put your discomfort aside and give her a call. Keep it short and sweet. Tara’s weight is really not your concern here, so don’t focus on that or feel guilty because of it. The simple fact is that she broke your chair and you would really appreciate it if she would help you to repair it. It’s nothing personal. If she’s the good friend and neighbor you think, she’ll ask you to send her the bill.
Dear Annie: A recent letter in your column from “A Little Space, Please” reminded me of a similar incident that happened to me. I was at the pharmacy counter talking to the assistant pharmacist and completing my transaction, when suddenly, a huge angry-looking man appeared and leaned right past me, putting his elbow on the counter and looking over my shoulder.
Needless to say, I was startled, and I knew immediately he was trying to intimidate. So I politely asked him to wait back a little and said that I was nearly finished. He became enraged and started screaming horrible insults! The assistant pharmacist said nothing as I proceeded to tell this Neanderthal what I thought of him. I then told her that she should direct customers to wait behind the line and take control of the situation.
It was a most unpleasant experience that I will never forget.
That guy probably didn’t think I would stand up to him and his rude behavior. I could still hear his ranting while I was leaving the store. — Carol in Florida
Dear Carol: Way to stick up for yourself. My only caveat: Don’t put yourself in danger; always make sure you are in a safe environment, surrounded by others, and don’t resort to violence. Often the best defense is a good exit plan. But kudos to you nonetheless, courageous Carol.