Depression isn’t selective
Dr. Wallace: I’m 16 years old. I have a wonderful family, a great boyfriend and a wonderful pet poodle. And I love school. I’m involved in many activities, and I’m a good student. I should be on top of the world all the time, but I’m not. Sometimes I really get the blues for no apparent reason. I have wracked my brain to discover why I get depressed, but I can’t find a logical reason. Sometimes when I’m blue I start crying, and I don’t even know why.
I’ve talked to my best friend about this, and she says there are times when she also gets depressed over nothing. Do boys get depressed, or is this just a girl thing? —Nameless, Holland, Mich.
Nameless: Yes, boys do get depressed. Everybody does from time to time — sometimes over setbacks and disappointments, sometimes for no apparent reason at all. During the teen years, life can be an emotional roller-coaster ride. The highs make you giddy, and the lows feel like you’re at rock bottom.
When someone has many more lows than highs, and when the lows linger for weeks or even months, it’s time to seek help from a professional counselor. From your letter, I don’t believe this is the case with you.
Remember, a teen can be down in the dumps on Monday and happy as a lark on Tuesday. This is completely normal. Psychologists who specialize in teen problems agree that even the slightest disagreement with a parent, boyfriend or girlfriend or teacher can trigger depression. When the blues hit, just
ROBERT WALLACE
relax and know that they will pass.
Dr. Wallace: I’m 18 years old, and the guy I was dating was convicted and sentenced to prison for involuntary manslaughter for a term of nine years. I care for this guy very much. If he weren’t behind bars and had asked me to marry him, I would have.
He has written to me several times asking me to be faithful to him and to write to him at least four times a week. He promised he would marry me as soon as he is released and finds work. He also said he promises to stop drinking and using drugs forever. I feel sorry for this guy, and I’d like to be faithful and wait for him to be released, but nine years is a long time.
My family and all of my friends are encouraging me to send him a “Dear John” letter and then go on with my life. I’m not so sure this is the best advice. I do think I love him. Please give me your opinion. — Undecided, El Centro, Calif.
Undecided: I can’t advise you on what to do. This decision must come from you. If both your heart and your head are telling you to wait for this guy, then wait. But if your heart says “wait” and your head says “no,” then it might be wise to follow the advice from your head.