Living independently

Dear Annie: I moved out and started living on my own several years ago, and I have fallen in love with living independently. However, over the years, my parents’ insistence that I move back near home has increased. Despite being only an hour away by plane (about 300 miles), they insist that I ”need to be within driving distance in case anything happens.”

My parents are both still working and by no means need to be cared for. If they do need to be cared for when they’re older, I will probably move back closer to them. I’m an only child.

But right now, the guilt tripping is getting out of hand, and it makes me enjoy my phone calls with them less. Lately, I don’t feel like calling them much, but that bums me out, too. How do I let my parents know that I need to be on my own without hurting their feelings? — Child Forever

Dear Child: As annoying as it might be, you will always be their little girl, and I’m sure they are just missing you.

Don’t let them make you feel guilty. You might point out to them that they did such a great job raising you that you have the selfconfidence to live independently and start your own life.

You’re only 300 miles away — which, by the way, is driving distance — so perhaps plan a few more trips home this year. And who knows? If you decide to have kids someday, you might want to be close to home so Grandma and Grandpa can help with babysitting. Dear Annie: This is in response to last month’s letter from ”Dog Lover,” who wants to get another dog but can’t because his wife has refused. I can understand the wife’s position. I have been married for over 53 years and have had many cats and dogs as pets in the household. Granted, I have been the one to bring them home, but I have also been the one who has done all the caretaking. My animals have always been trained and welltreated. My husband has enjoyed them all but has never put the time in. I have to do the work necessary to have a healthy, happy pet.

A dog is like a child. Someone has to train it (which most people don’t even know how to do) feed it, give it quality time, clean up after it, take it to see a doctor, be prepared to expend large amounts of money on it if necessary, groom it, keep it clean and, most of all, love it like a family member.

Many people get pets and then, after a while, totally drop the ball, ignoring or even abusing it. Then it’s off to the pound or thrown out of a car on a back road.

I suggest that this man volunteer at a shelter. When the right animal comes along, he can invite his wife to meet it, and they can decide together whether they want the responsibility of a pet and discuss who would be responsible for what. If they decide together it’s the right thing to do for them, then they can give a needy furry friend a home.

All my pets have been rescue animals, and they have all been wonderful family pets. — Mary