You can’t help those who won’t help themselves

There’s a story I recall around this time of year. It’s about a man I’ll call “David Dogood.”

He was an elderly gentleman — probably in his early 80s. Dogood had an exceptionally prosperous life, but something was missing.

Living in the Valley most of his life, the thinbodied, white-haired senior wanted to give back to someone who had not been as fortunate as he.

Through a gesture of kindness and goodwill, he contacted a local social service agency about mentoring a wayward youth, who might need guidance and understanding.

At first, the agency was not receptive, as they worried about Dogood’s advancing age.

Actually, there was nothing wrong with the man’s thinking or reasoning processes. As a matter of fact, he was still active in his business and continued as decision-maker for a profitable enterprise.

But because of Dogood’s standing in the community and his strong Christian principles, the agency relented and provided a 17-year-old young man, who was no stranger to law enforcement.

It was no secret that “Jessie” had come from a very difficult background. His father had spent much of his life in prison for crimes such as robbery and domestic violence.

He was also a chronic drug-abuser and alcoholic. Eventually, the estranged parent was murdered in an unknown dispute during Jessie’s childhood years.

Jessie’s mother was also an alcoholic and a welfare recipient for most of her life. Full of selfloathing and unable to work, she spent her time inebriated and with various male individuals, who “provided” her with three additional children.

Jessie was “on his own” for most of his childhood and adolescent years.

A large percentage of his meals were obtained from school, from friends or from what he could steal at convenience stores.

His attitude about life was cold and heartless. He just didn’t trust anyone.

“No one cares about me, so why should I care about them?” he thought. “Life is take what you can when you can.

It’s the meanest and toughest who survive.”

Jessie had not developed a conscience. He also expected his life’s journey to be rather short. That was the pattern of relatives and others he knew. Reaching the age of 30 did not seem like a realistic possibility.

Dogood knew he had a tough challenge, but believed kindness, love and proper guidance would turn the young man around.

The businessman also knew that the keys to success in life were self-discipline and behavior directed toward goal-oriented activities.

At first, Jessie played things cautiously — showing no emotion and simply letting Dogood take the lead. But at the same time, he looked for ways to take advantage of the situation.

But when Dogood tried to provide structure and limits for the underage youth, that’s when trouble began. Jessie tried resistance through passiveaggressive behavior by simply ignoring the old man’s directives.

Trying to reason with the troubled young man proved futile. Finally, an inevitable confrontation took place.

Jessie physically attacked Dogood viciously and without mercy, leaving him for dead. He took the car keys to the good Samaritan’s Mercury Marquis, grabbed cash, credit cards, along with any other valuables desired, and left the scene.

What happened to the young man after that, I do not know. Dogood miraculously recovered, but learned a hard lesson. Despite warnings from his friends, he naively thought caring and compassion could turn this sociopathic adolescent around. But Jessie’s emotional scars ran deep, and many years of abuse could not be erased by the well-meaning intentions of others. He missed a golden opportunity to have a life guided by Dogood — a life which most people could only dream. But hatred for himself and others blinded him to a potentially promising future.

Jessie probably ended up in prison or deceased. Unfortunately in many cases, the only cure for someone with his background is time or death. Few in his situation can reach that age where hatred diminishes, and life can be appreciated for the gift that it is.