New friendships will soon be made
Dr. Wallace: My best friend is always taking advantage of me. She borrows my clothes and only returns them after I nag her for weeks on end. Whenever we plan to do something together, she’s always late. Then when I mention it, she says, “You had nothing better to do than wait for me.” She will also make a date with me, but cancel if something better comes along. Twice in the last month I had to spend a boring Saturday night in my room because she canceled on me. What can I do about this without ending our friendship? — Nameless, South Bend, Ind.
Nameless: Between friends, honesty is truly the best policy. You have to confront her directly about how her actions make you feel; if you don’t, the relationship will deteriorate and eventually end in bitterness. But talk to her with love, not indignation.
Assure her that you care for her very much, but that you have something difficult to say. Don’t tell her off. Instead, focus on how hurtful some of her actions are and give examples. After you’ve finished, let her know you think she’s terrific in many ways and the issues you’ve brought up represent only a small part of who she is. If your friend isn’t made to feel defensive, I’m sure she’ll respond positively.
However, if I’m mistaken in my reply, and your “best friend” continues her obnoxious selfcentered ways, tell her goodbye and wish her well. Then you need to start enjoying your teen years by associating with teens who share your interests. Join clubs at school and participate in activities at school, church and in your community. New friendships will soon be made.
Dr. Wallace: I’ve been dating a girl for over 6 months. I love her and she says she loves me, but there are times when she ignores me and times when she treats me like dirt. What really
ROBERT WALLACE
agitates me is that she constantly flirts with other guys, even when she’s with me. I talked to her about her negative behavior toward me and she said if it annoyed me, then I should buzz off.
Now I’m unsure what I should do because I like her very much. I feel stupid writing for advice, but I don’t want to discuss this with anyone I know personally.
What do you think I should do? We are both 17. — Confused, Reno, Nev.
Confused: If you continue in the relationship, things will get worse. Tell your girlfriend the time has come for you to buzz off. Wish her well and buzz over to a sweeter flower!
Dr. Wallace: I know my mother loves me and I love her, but sometimes she can be a pain. I’ve been dating a guy for over a year. My mom has met him and likes him. We go out almost every Friday and Saturday night. We go places and do things like most normal teens. We see movies, go bowling, go to the mall, go out to eat and stuff like that. We don’t do drugs, smoke or drink and we are not into sex. If all goes as planned, this guy could someday be my husband.
What really bugs me big-time is that my mother always waits up for me to come home. She then interrogates me about where we went, what we did, etc. It’s like she doesn’t trust me. Help! — Nameless, Hammond, La.
Nameless: Your mom is just being a good mom. What’s important is that she likes this guy. Don’t sweat the question and answer session. It’s really no big deal. Simply tell her a couple of highlights and then tell her you need to get your beauty rest and say, “Goodnight, Mom.”