Write and wish him well
Dr. Wallace: My boyfriend joined the Navy seven months ago. He is stationed in San Diego, California. We agreed that we would write to each other weekly and I have done that faithfully. My concern is that I no longer have any strong feelings for him. In fact, if he were to come home on leave, I wouldn’t really want to go out with him again.
I feel that I should write and tell him how my feelings have changed, but writing a “Dear John” letter to a guy in the military does not seem like a very patriotic thing to do. I need your help. — Ellie, Mesa, Ariz.
Ellie: Patriotism has nothing to do with this. However, you do owe him the truth, so he knows how things are, and he can be free to date others. To give him false hope would be cruel. Write the letter today and wish him well.
Dr. Wallace: My boyfriend and I dated for almost two years until he ended our relationship because I had become a domineering, nasty person. The breakup was a “blessing in disguise.” It gave me time to reflect on the relationship. At the time of our split, I didn’t realize my behavior was so negative. Since then I’ve been doing much soul-searching and now I admit I was not a pleasant young woman. I have learned from this experience and I now feel I’ve matured mentally and won’t be making the same mistakes again.
I still love this guy very, very much and I believe he loves me, too. I want another chance to be with him because he is the most wonderful guy on this planet. What do you think I can do to get him back? Please help me. — Sorry, Moline, Ill.
Sorry: Cut out this column and mail it to him with an appropriate card. Tell him that you still love and miss him very much and ask him to please call you. Trust me, he will call. The
ROBERT WALLACE
rest is up to you.
Dr. Wallace: My best friend and I are both 15. About two months ago, she told everyone at school she was pregnant and that the most popular guy in school was the father. This guy denied it and said she had a serious psychological problem.
When she announced she was pregnant, my mother made me stop hanging around with her. This has bothered me a lot because she was my best friend and I really wanted to help her.
Last week, my friend told me that she’d had a miscarriage. Then today she said she never was pregnant at all, and just wanted a little attention. I told all this to my mother and asked if I could renew my relationship with my friend, but my mom said I couldn’t.
Now my friend admits that she made a big mistake. She’s only human after all, and humans do make mistakes. So I really think my mom is wrong to deny me being friends with this girl again. Please give me your opinion. — Upset, Big Spring, Texas.
Upset: Your friend made a very serious accusation that caused a fellow student a lot of grief. This girl very well may have psychological problems. To make an attention grab is one thing, but to do so by trying to destroy another person’s reputation is quite another. I can understand your mother’s decision and I agree with it.
Let’s hope your friend is able to come to terms with her behavior and show genuine remorse for hurting another person. Perhaps if your mother sees evidence that your friend has learned her lesson and changed for the better, she might allow the friendship to resume at a later time. But that won’t happen in the near future. Give it at least three or four months.